Sigh.. Another day, a day where I stayed up late and slept halfway through the afternoon, a day where I shared some of the most enjoyable /msgs,, then hid under the bedding in the warmth and comfort, and slept. A day where I was able to be antisocial, yet still spend plenty of time on Everything. In general, a very enjoyable day, but from the relaxing, tomorrow will be stressful. Sigh.
Still no class tomorrow, so there is enough time to study for class Wednesday and the test on Thursday, especially if I get up before noon. Sleeping more would be nice, really nice, but if I do not get up reasonably early, I will not get much done.
Tomorrow will be a day of stress. Much studying to do, much to learn, but also, tomorrow is the day that all the auctions I am currently running on ebay end. There have been bids on three of the books, cheap ones, and nothing more than that. I have never sunk this type of money into books before, and I would like to think that I can get it back. The guy at the bookstore was kind enough to offer to let me return the most expensive one, but I feel embarrassed to do that. And I like the books. Sigh. Will all be over tomorrow afternoon or evening – then I will know whether my worries are for any good reason or whether I am being unreasonable. I sincerely hope that I am just worrying too much.
Trying to figure out what to think about A. She is, in some ways, such a nice girl. She likes me, is smart, attractive, reasonably close to my height, generally a good person. She is even a student at Hiram College. A. is the first woman I have found in about…forever who likes me and who lives within a reasonable distance. (Too many women that like me, and that I like, live on the opposite side of the country, or worse.) As is life, there are problems (mine).
She disagrees with the way I express my political opinions. She thinks I should not be so vocal in regards to my opposition of the war, the death penalty, and other things. She thinks I should not go to war protests. She think that I should not go to the School of the Americas protest in November. She certainly has the right to this opinion, however much I may disagree. It is clear that we cannot get along, because of these things – it should not even be an issue. But it still hurts.
It hurts because I have not found a woman like this in four years, it seems as though I may not find one similar for another four. She likes me, and probably would date me, if not for my principles getting in the way. Why, then, could I not date her and continue to behave as I have? Because she cannot accept that. She cannot accept that I am who I am. And I am unwilling to change.