I note recently that I am feeling increasingly compelled to analyze the underlying elements of
the fatalistically negative general view of humanity I experience.
It seems more and more like a copout,
a way to quickly explain away certain discomforts: Ah, whaddya expect from people?
2002 september 11, faubourg deli tables, too much brown sauce
a lot of awkwardness. people dropping their food from tray to floor, imbalanced. broken glasses. crucial text i can no longer afford delayed, still unavailable. tense interpersonal exchanges, generalized anxiety. 32 celsius yesterday; today is cold, windy, rainy, grey. travelling weather. viciousness often surfacing. war drums are louder than i've ever experienced. on the internet, touchiness over topical exchanges. things missing, lost, malplaced. paused on one's toes in the hallway, listening, waiting.