You say it, not really believing it, it’s not something you have said to yourself very often, except maybe in the darkness of 4 AM. If you can't see a future together, then there is no point to the present. Right? At least that is what you will tell yourself as the night grows cold, and the heat of her body can comfort you no longer.
She says, and there is finality to the statement. But you know she doesn't believe it either. That she shares that ache in her center with you. The there will always be a hole in your being. That some spaces cannot be filled. And even if they could, you wouldn't want them to.
Thank you so much, for loving me
And across the distance, the cold space between each other, you know she can feel your hot tears, spilling slow upon her skin. There are many reasons to shed tears of mourning. It is up to us to make them tears of joy. But questions like this can never be answered. Strength is necessary to learn from this sorrow.
I will always love you, you know that, silly
And the laughter is bitter behind the sobs, but joyous. Even here she knows how to touch you, how to give your soul fire through the sadness. A part of you may be gone, but she will always hold it close, keep it safe. For that, you are ever grateful.
You have changed me so much, I will never forget.