The strangest conversation I have ever had with my girlfriend

My girlfriend (GF) lives several hours away from me. We talk on the phone every night. I am going to be seeing her for 3 weeks starting next on Thursday. Near the end of tonight's conversation she asked me about masturbation, and suggested that I should start masturbating more frequently to enhance our experience once she saw me. As the conversation was wrapping up, this exchange occurred:

GF: Ok, you can go masturbate, but don't think about me. Me: What? Well who am I supposed to think about then? GF: (said with completely straight tone) Monkeys. Me: WHAT?????

Needless to say, I laughed my fucking ass off at which point I called her gross and hilarious, she then proceeded to advise me to fantasize about my warm palm before eventually giving me permission to think about her.

This is, without question, the strangest and funniest conversation I have ever had with my girlfriend.