The strangest conversation I have ever had with my girlfriend
My girlfriend (GF) lives several hours away from me. We talk on the phone every night. I am going to be seeing her for 3 weeks starting next on Thursday. Near the end of tonight's conversation she asked me about masturbation, and suggested that I should start masturbating more frequently to enhance our experience once she saw me. As the conversation was wrapping up, this exchange occurred:
GF: Ok, you can go masturbate, but don't think about me.
Me: What? Well who am I supposed to think about then?
GF: (said with completely straight tone) Monkeys.
Needless to say, I laughed my fucking ass off
at which point I called her gross
, she then proceeded to advise me to fantasize
about my warm palm
before eventually giving me permission to think about her.
This is, without question, the strangest and funniest conversation I have ever had with my girlfriend.