Title: What If... Rogue Possessed the Power of Thor?
Release date: October 1994
Writer: Simon Furman
Penciler: John Royle
Our Heroes (in order of appearance): The Avengers (Spider-Woman, The Mighty Thor, Vision, Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Scarlet Witch, Beast, Jocasta), The Fantastic Four (Mr. Fantastic, The Invisible Woman, The Thing, The Human Torch), the Asgardians (Heimdall, Odin, Sif, Balder, Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg), Ms. Marvel (in flashback only).
The Baddies: Rogue, The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (Destiny, Pyro, The Blob, Avalanche, Mystique), Loki and his goon army.
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
In Avengers Annual #10, Rogue and Mystique attacked the Avengers, defeating Captain America, Iron Man and Ms. Marvel. During the battle, Rogue permanently absorbed the powers and memories of Ms. Marvel, giving her the added abilities of invulnerability and flight. They captured Iron Man's armor, which they used to spring the remainder of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants from prison.
WHAT HAPPENS HERE
The story starts in the mess hall of Ryker's Island Prison, as Destiny, Pyro and Avalanche are about to get some chow. Destiny, the Brotherhood's resident precognate, sees a "disturbance" in the future, centered around Rogue.
Flipping the page, we find Rogue in the heat of battle with the Avengers outside the team's mansion. Spider-Woman's venom blasts have no effect on Rogue, as she has partially absorbed the strength and invulnerability of Thor (in addition to the powers she stole from Ms. Marvel the previous day). As the cavalry arrives, Rogue is faced with a decision: cut and run, or continue to sap Thor's strength and take on the remaining Avengers single-handedly.
In this alternate reality, she opts for the latter.
Vision is the first to tackle Rogue, attempting to stun her with his density-shifting trick. For his efforts, he is bitchslapped through a brick wall, coming to a halt as a pile of scrap in one of the mansion's rooms, at the very feet of his wife, the Scarlet Witch (who is too traumatized to take part in the rest of the issue, and is probably still crying on Jarvis' shoulders).
By now, Rogue has adopted some of Thor's archaic grammar, mixing it in with her own southern drawl with some curious effects. For example:
Rogue: "Scrabbling mortal germs! Dost thou not realize what ah am now? What ah... can do? Mine is the might to move mountains, slay dragons. Ah've grown so very far beyond you all!"
Hawkeye: "The way she's speaking, it's like Thor and her all rolled up, mixed up... until you can't tell where one ends and the other begins!"
After pounding away at Vision's "brother" -- the slightly-more resilient Wonder Man -- for a few panels, Rogue brushes Beast aside, buries Hawkeye under a lethal pile of rubble, then puts her fist through the torso of Jocasta. After a bit of imperious gloating, Rogue realizes it's time to join Mystique at the prison. Without a thought, she picks up Thor's hammer Mjolnir and flies off.
Score it: Rogue 4, Avengers 0, Androids -2
A FEW HOURS LATER... All the Avengers have to go on, aside from a pile of spare robot parts that rivals Hank Pym's lab, is the dessicated corpse of a supposedly-immortal thunder god. They enlist the aid of Reed Richards, who does his best Bones impression and pronounces that Rogue has become Thor.
MEANWHILE, IN ASGARD... A woestruck Odin summons Asgard's greatest warriors to counsel. Even Thor's father can't understand how Thor was killed, nor how the villainous Rogue can wield his sacred hammer. Balder, Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg are dispatched to Midgard (Earth) to track down Rogue. All of this is overhead by the skulking Loki...
FLEEING THE SCENE... The Brotherhood has boarded Mystique's converti-plane and are putting as much distance between them and Ryker's as possible. Even in their haste, the Brotherhood found the time to throw on the spandex. (Presumably, Mystique's plane has much bigger bathrooms than your average commercial jetliner.) Not to be outdone, our new Thunder Mutant has sexed up her outfit, tossing the green jacket in favor of a bustier and adding a spiked collar, bracelets (because she's all badass now that she's killed half the Avengers) and the tattered remnants of Thor's cape. Blob, having grown tired of super-powered buttrape prison sex, gets turned on by Rogue's new look. There's simply nothing nastier than getting groped by a creepy-looking fat man wearing spandex, so Rogue does what any immortally-strong fifteen-year old would do: she punches him out. It must've been the Puppy Chow (or that whole God of Thunder thing), as Rogue sends Blob through the fuselage and plummeting to his apparent death. Pyro does the only logical thing, which is to spark up his flamethrowers. In a damaged, pressurized jet.
A sobbing Rogue is found in the wreckage by Loki, who spirits her away to an Asgardian hideout. First, he gets her nekkid and puts her to bed. Afterwards, he tells his "sister" tales of how they were cast out of Asgard, and how they should ride together at the head of his army to retake the realm. Apparently Rogue thinks this is a great idea, so she signs onto Loki's plan and off they go to up the body count even further. As Loki and Rogue are about to breach the Asgardian defences, Balder's troupe returns with the FF and the remaining Avengers in tow. (How Spider-Woman has survived thusfar is beyond me.) In the midst of battle, Rogue comes face-to-face with Thor's brother Balder and hesitates. Loki sees her weakness and teleports her to Odin's throne room. Rogue rears back, preparing to strike down the Allfather, but hesitates again. In a schitzoid scene played out in Rogue's fractured mind, Thor's persona debates Rogue's, reassures her then unites with her. Loki turns on her, but is quickly vanquished. Rogue-Thor rejoins the battle raging outside, but on the opposite side. Behind her, the heroes of both Earth and Asgard drive Loki's army away.
[Odin's] heart soars. For he knows now that he has lost a son -- he has gained a daughter!
SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE... The final page has a giddy Rogue-Thor flying high above the New York skyline, but in a side bar (back in the normal timelime), the jailbound Destiny laments that Rogue may never find the true happiness in the real world as she did in the alternate future (after killing four Avengers, the whole Brotherhood of Evil Mutants and an indefinite number of Asgardians...)
...or will she?
A cool moment or two
-- A maniacal Rogue taunting the defeated Avengers, holding Jocasta's broken body like a bouquet of roses, gripping it by its entrails/stomach wires!
-- The Blob, with his best child molester face, putting the moves on Rogue.
Costume change calamity!
Aside from the previously mentioned converti-plane fashion show, Balder finds time in the middle of the climactic battle to swap out his brown togs for a snazzier blue and red combo, complete with a long, flowing cape. He must've found some Grecian Formula, because his silver mane has been dyed a flaxen blond hue.
Least valuable players
Time to hand out the hardware! Prizes are due to Hawkeye and the Scarlet Witch for being completely useless to the Avengers' battle plans. Ol' Bowboy -- remember, he has no powers, all he does is shoot arrows -- fails to get off a single shot at Rogue before having some rocks fall on him. (Coincidentally, Spider-Woman had the exact same pile of rocks fall on her, yet she emerged unscathed. Again, how is this possible?!?) And the ever-sexy Wanda, whose hex power could've caused all sorts of problems with Rogue, gets out of the bathroom late, is almost killed by the wreckage of her "husband" flying through the window, then goes off for some counselling.