OK, most will hate me for this. But I'm going to rant on why this movie was not really that great. I won't go so far to say it sucked. Because granted, dick and fart jokes will be eternally funny. As will Jay and Silent Bob, no matter what they do. And I'm in awe of Kevin Smith, so this is hard for me, too.

To start with. Kevin Smith started out with an indie flick. It was black and white, no name actors, not the best camera work, and it was fucking hilarious. As the movies went on, Mallrats was funded, it was produced. It had a few names in it. Chasing Amy was worse, a few more names, funded and again produced. Same with Dogma. But Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was a Hollywood movie. And that's all fine and good. We like Kevin Smith, we want to see his films do well and make money and him make more of them. But they didn't do a very good job of making it a satire. They were trying make fun of it being a Hollywood flic by doing exactly what a Hollywood flic would do. And it leaves a very bad taste in your mouth.

First thing. It had a bad plot. Pretty much the movies have always been about Jersey locals and their lives. Dogma strayed from that a bit, but the characters we know and love are Randal, Dante, Alyssa Jones, Holden, Bankie and Brodie, and Steve-Dave. We didn't need the jewel thief chicks. Didn't need SNL's campy Wildlife Officer Will Ferrell. It could have been a great movie without any of that crap.

It could have been filled in by something that was severely lacking. The rants. The dialogue. The sappy comebacks. Kevin Smith trademarks. The oh so wise street wisdom provided by the regulars. Brodie bitching about the foodcourts. The debate over the contractors building the Death Star. Granted, the scene with Silent Bob going off on Jay was quality. But still, those scenes were few and far between.

Another bad aspect. The parodies. And the cameos! This is another thing that was just not necessary! Jason Biggs and James Vanderbeek? No no no. Just bring back the regulars and we will be thrilled. The parodies, The Matrix, Planet of the Apes, Charlie's Angles... Give me a break! I'll not go off on that.

Thank god for the reoccurring jokes. At least Smith was able to remind us of the movies we loved so much before. And let me say a few more nice things, only cause the movie wasn't all bad. The scene in Mooby's was classic. The Bluntman & Chronic scene... well, who DOESN'T like Star Wars, and damnit... if I were making a movie, yeah I would wanna have a lightsaber fight, too. So that was all well and good, especially because Luke was a Cockknocker. The Mystery Machine, again, hilarious. And who doesn't like a name like Boo Boo Kitty Fuck.

And with that I'll shut up.

And really, this movie was still great, I'm just a wee bit tired of people saying it was so great and not having anything to back it up. So I hope I get some kind of reaction for this rant :)