This is what I remember about this trip:

Processed Cheese · Exit 15 · Bring me some pie, bitch! · The Patron Saint of Immaculate Emissions · How many times can Chad suck Carsons cock? · The Human Keychain · one way signs · bless your heart · glowsticks · chicken rings · chad’s fragile ass · 735 · peter meters · mapquest · Route 75 · Naked Gun · papasan · beads · Bart’s Moral Dilemma · Victor · Noder Crushes · boobs · tape recorders · crawfish · battle bots · the gigantic hole in my muffler · refrigerator magnets · kerosene · barrel of monkies · stripey gloves · cock smoking · legos · E · fuzzy dice · cloves · UPS · briiiiian · Mitzi · Indra363 · pyrogenic · Café du Monde · beignets · praline cookies · $74.99 · cavemen in three piece suits · nipples · navigators · plungers · cigar ash · m_turner in the catbox · Bob Ross and his fro · tightie whities · car bombs ·mind erasers · flaming dr. peppers · blisters · fuck me boots · fuck me pants · traffic · roadkill · Centerville, PA · elephant pilliow · jay who? · I’ve been tampered with! · gonads 8 · smarmy hitchhikers · blee-ach · brassmule · sequin boleros · Desire Oyster Bar · Fuckin New York · ccunning’s mix cd · hot lesbo action · boones farm · sweet dreams · nipple lamp · Stan’s Beverage · You put your weed in it. · sunrises · the Doves · Radiohead · nice dream · sea song

roger that

ha ha ha to you jaybonci... you missed one hell of a time!

This started with an attempt to reconstruct the past few days while driving home from Nawlins. By no means does this node even begin to cover the extent of the amazing time we all had, but that’s what other nodes are for. This is simply a reconstruction of as much as we can remember, for those who weren’t there, and for those who were! Thanks to all who participated in the #timeline discussion to put this all together. And please... take into consideration that the times are all fucked up by: 1. Lack of sleep. 2. Time zones. 3. Lack of sleep, 4. Daylight Savings Time, and 5. Lack of sleep... oh and of course, bad short-term memory from Mary Jane and various beverages produced by fermentation. Any corrections/additions please let me know! Also, keep in mind, someone else can tell you an entirely different tale than this... hopefully some people will fill in a few of the nodeshells for the more memorable times.

Pics can be found at:

Thursday, October 25, 2001

  • 3:00 AM EDT: Depart Boston, Massachusetts in one red Chevy Blazer armed with caffeine, cigarettes, some clothes and a sleeping bag. Drive through Rhode Island and Connecticut.
  • 7:00 AM EDT: First rest stop on outskirts of New York City/NJ border. More caffeine, gas, sun rises over industrial New Jersey (see figure DSCN1619.jpg and DSCN1620.jpg).
  • 9:45 AM EDT: Arrive in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 45 minutes behind schedule, pick up pyrogenic. Make a stop at the Wawa for h20, hit the road.
  • 11:45 AM EDT approx: Driving down the Pennsylvania turnpike, watching for Exit 15 for Carlisle, PA, exit 16 comes and goes with a sign for Carlisle. Waiting for next Exit 15, come to find out, next exit is 30 miles down the road. Use cellular communication device to call brassmule to find out 16 is indeed our exit of choice. He advises us to turn around. Note: k-rails dividing the turnpike make this impossible. Shortly after the phone call is placed, a state police barracks is noticed off the highway... grind to a halt, back up in the breakdown lane, and drive through the barracks. Follow a UPS truck outside an automatic gate and out the back. At this point, pyrogenic and myself are thrilled as we see an overpass over the turnpike and similar ramp with gate on the opposite side of the highway. We proceed to opposite gate to find out it is locked. After realizing there were no roads traveling parallel to the highway to let us back on, we backtrack to the barracks and meet a genuine nice officer of the Pennsylvania State Police. Explaining our situation to him, instead of taking my plate number and chewing us out and threatening to charge us with trespassing as most staties would do, he is kind enough to lead us to the gate and open it for us. Woo! Success! Back on PA turnpike to Exit16.
  • 12:15 PM EDT approx: Arrive Carlisle, PA. Find out brassmule’s car is still in the shop, pack up the Blazer with more stuff and head out. Make stops at the ATM in Bank of Carlile, Pilot Gas station and Wendy's for lunch. We then we followed in the 1337 footsteps of Chihauhua Grub and Infinite Burn and visited Stan’s Beverage for a special case of beer for WonkoDSane.
  • 1:50 PM EDT: pyrogenic, brassmule and myself head out on the PA turnpike west, approximately 3 hours behind schedule.
  • 5:00 PM EDT approx: Hit afternoon traffic in West Virginia. Drive a distance of about 14 miles in just over an hour.
  • Sometime after 5:00 PM EDT: Arrive at a gas station in East Ohio. After pumping gas, find out there is a rather large hole in the muffler of the Blazer (see figure DSCN1623.jpg). Comment on the noise, ignore it, hit the road. Brassmule inserts one Mountain Dew bottle into the spoiler of the Blazer and an extensive comparison was made of the nutritional value of a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup vs a random brand of Peanut Butter Cup. Boggle about the rebate offer for play money.
  • 7:45 PM EDT approx: Arrive in Columbus, Ohio at the residence of ccunning. Park outside his apartment, pick up cell phone. Place a call to Chad. We casually explain to him, we are still driving. I reach for the map and pick the furthest road from Chad’s house, and say… ‘Chad, we’re on route 75, how far away are we???” Proceed to listen to Chad freak out and cease the laughing long enough to explain we are out front. At this point, we remain 3 hours behind schedule. The van departing Ohio was scheduled to leave at 6:00 PM EDT, but zot-fot-piq had to work late and had yet to pick up the van, so our 3 hours behind schedule was no big deal, since after watching some Naked Gun, unloading the Blazer to the Van, discovering the Mountain Dew Bottle still in the spoiler (see figure DSCN1628.jpg), installing a CB radio on zot’s car, picking up air mattresses and FINDING the interstate, we ended up being about 4 and a half hours behind schedule.
  • 10:20 PM EDT approx: Find Interstate and hit the road. Van 1 consists of passenger 1 and driver ccunning, passenger 2 pyrogenic, passenger 3 me. Car 1 contains passenger 1 and driver zot-fot-piq and passenger 2 brassmule.
  • Sometime between 10:20 PM EDT and 4:30 AM CDT: Passed the time zone line, actual drive from Ohio via Kentucky to Tennessee was about 9 hours. Stopped for Chicken Rings at White Castle, gas multiple times, and I did some sleeping here… next think I realize, we...
  • 4:30 AM CDT approx: arrive chez WonkoDSane Nashville, Tennessee to find Mitzi awake to greet us. Jurph and Jason are sleeping on the couch in the living room. Drink a little; smoke a little; crash around 5:30 AM CDT.
Friday, October 26, 2001
* Days are approximated by periods of sleeping, no mater how short…
  • 8:30 AM CDT approx: Awaken, showers at Wonko’s, say goodbye to Jurph and Jason, pyrogenic takes Mitzi’s sporty little MR2 for a cruise around the block, WonkoDSane calls in sick to work.
  • 10:30 AM CDT approx: Depart Nashville, drive out of the city to avoid possible co-workers of WonkoDSane’s.
  • 11:15 AM CDT approx: Pit Stop at K-Mart. Purchase Star Wars Legos, one homophobic pachyderm elephant pillow, batteries for walkie talkies, one game of Battleship, various pairs of stripey and furry gloves, and one barrel of monkies.
  • 1:00 PM CDT approx: Subway for lunch, smoking at the gas station (see figure DSCN1633.jpg). Some time after 1:00 PM CDT, Car 1 and Van 1 played a game of Battleship via walkie talkies (see figure DSCN1639.jpg and DSCN1644.jpg). E-2 was a popular target... During game play, a stop was made for gas and food. Purchased Camel Jade cigarettes, one bottle of Boones Farm (see figure DSCN1653.jpg) was transferred to Subway cups, and smarmy hitchhikers were skillfully avoided.
  • 3:00 PM CDT approx: Arrive Memphis, Tennessee to pick up Apatrix. He directs us to the nearest Target via the ghetto back roads of Memphis. ccunning gave us much motion sickness by not being able to follow Apatrix’s directions. Purchased more Legos and Battle Bots, then defaced a Lego promotional display and shoplifted the letter E.
  • Sometime when it was dark CST: Stopped in Mississippi for Battle Bots in a rest area (see figure DSCN1672.jpg).
  • 11:00 PM CDT approx: ARRIVED NAWLINS! Found Templeton’s house, did a quick meet and greet and then immediately hit the pavement on foot in search for food. Aphexious directed us to a local deli where massive burgers and lots of greasy food was consumed. A group of people... Mitzi, WonkoDSane, ccunning, Apatrix, zot-fot-piq, pyrogenic, brassmule, panamaus, Lee, Medieval, probably more than I can remember were then led to 735 Bourbon Street by Aphexious. BAR the doorman checked Ids. We drank, some danced, some had experiences with the local barter system, but we all had a blast as exhausted as we were.
  • 2:00 AM CDT approx: Arrived back to Laura’s. brassmule, Byzantine, templeton and ccunning made arrangements to pick up c-dawg from the airport. Some beer was spilt, and most had retired around 5:00 AM CDT, soon after Laura bid us adieu for more suitable sleeping arrangements, and advised all the boys and girls to play nice while she was gone.
Saturday, October 27, 2001
  • 8:15 AM CDT: Jethro_Bodine, karmaflux and Tara arrive at Templeton’s and carefully step around Sleeping noders. They depart for a bar and let the rest of us sleep a bit longer... people wake up around 9:00 – 10:00 AM CDT, showers for most, and the first group headed out for [A head shop, Pralines, Café du Monde, and sightseeing. pyrogenic navigated us quite well through the city he has only been in once before. Some Voodoo Music Festival participants also left around noon for the show.
  • 4:27 PM CDT: Lunch was had at the Desire Oyster Bar: $276. Drinks at Remoulade, purchases at the Cigar Factory. Scoping out the Funky Butt for possible Jazz later.
  • 7:00 PM CDT approx: Arrive back at Laura’s house for a planned nap and to meet people returning from Voodoo Fest. Most ended up playing Trivial Pursuit, and the uberjoint was rolled. Jaubertmoniker pulled a JayBonci and called us.
  • 10:00 PM CDT approx: Realizing it was getting too late for the Funky Butt noders departed the premises and met up at 735 Bourbon Street. After waiting for several groups of people and Mitzi’s purse incident we headed for D.B.A., a bar inside the quarter. Mind erasers, car bombs and pimps, oh my, 360 degree photo, pinball, stealing a glad for Chad, and eventually back home. Insert marathon stoner session here. Everyone had crashed by about 5:30 AM CDT the next morning.
Sunday, October 28, 2001
*Saturday night switches to Savings time… Sunday, October 28, 2001
  • 6:00 AM EST approx: After about an hour driving zot’s car and pyro driving the van, we found a Waffle House and had breakfast. The sun was up at this point. More battle ship was played via walkie talkies. Car 1 Lost Van 1 in a most unfortunate wrong turn and after being cut off from walkie talkie range was skillfully reunited again.
  • 12:00 AM EST approx: Reached Columbus Ohio, Dropped off zot and ccunning, switched back into the Blazer. Hit the Road. Sometime in the afternoon the three of us left stopped at an Olive Garden for lunch, tipped the waitress almost 50% cause she wrapped us up breadsticks for the ride, stopped at a Wal-Mart and pyrogenic and brassmule were denied the Millennium Falcon. brassmule was pulled over by the pigs. Sometime that night we hit an insane traffic jam in western Pennsylvania. Spent 4 hours backed up in traffic, then re-routed through crazy hick backroads. Tried to return Mitzi’s phone calls a few times unsuccessfully. Reached Carlisle, PA around 2:00 AM EST.
  • 2:00 AM EST approx: Left Mike and Carlisle behind, back on the PA Turnpike, made a rest stop for some food and caffeine and gas. Pyrogenic drove, I got to sleep for about two hours. Then I took over, drove back to Philadelphia, missed the turn to take us to the city cause neither was paying attention to the roads at this point, just driving and talking.
  • 5:30 AM EST approx: Arrived Philadelphia. Watched the sun rise over the skyline from 20 stories up.
  • 8:00 AM EST: Parking meters turn on, I leave Philadelphia.
  • 9:00 AM EST approx: Blazer hits a guardrail, my head hits the steering wheel, I wake up.
  • 9:05 AM EST approx: Pull into a Taco-Bell parking lot, take a Vivarin and a nap.
  • 10:15 AM EST: Wake up. Drive through NJ. Hit morning traffic, alter course. Drive through NYC and CT.
  • 3:30 PM EST: Stop at the Family Republic Restaurant for gas, caffeine and novelty toys.
  • 5:00 PM EST: HOME

the more I wrote this node, the harder it was to finish, PLEASE msg me with corrections, additions, anything…