there is a legend about moonstone. if you buy someone moonstone then you will love them forever, whether you want to or not. i was bought a moonstone ring on the first day of a roadtrip through the kootnays and the rockies.

on the second-to-last day, i was asked how i felt about "taking a break"

the moonstone was doing its thing, but somehow, being with a girl who doesn't express how she feels, ever, is emotionally draining.

i peaked at his journal. he had peaked at mine. he probably knows that for the few months i was still in love with someone else.

that someone else, whom i haven't seen in over a year, still haunts my thoughts.

we're not taking a break. but i am not what he wants. he can see marrying me, having his kids, being in love with, but i am not what he wants. i don't have as much joy as i should. i am a psychic vampire, not a blood source.

i am no fun.

sulphur-scented hot springs turned the sterling silver ring a bright blue. very pretty.

i could of sworn he knew i was a wreck when we began seeing more of each other.

i don't ever cry. he made me cry in lake louise, after filling me with expensive wine and fondue, lying on an expensive hotel room bed, next to a window with a view of all of nature's majesty staring you in the face.

what am i doing?