it occurs to me, that after seven weeks of living at camp, working and sharing space with some of my best friends, that...

when i come home, shower, clean up, and my roommate is in Pentiction, and i am left to my own devices, to feed myself, to find a job, to look for a new home, and i am all by myself, all my friends have day jobs...i become a different sort of lonely.

i have nothing to do, and nobody to do it with. at all. soon i will run out of money, and that will be troublesome, but until then, i can just sit here in my basement burning cd's.

p.s. i have fallen in love with Neko Case. I was already enamoured with the New Pornographers, but with the recent death of June Carter Cash, I have become reaquainted with both Johnny Cash and Neko's work... (also kazoo orchestras, but we'll not go into that) I almost went to go see her last spring-ish, but the boyfriend says to me, he says "She's a country singer, you don't want to go see that". such untruth.

I have given up being a lousy writer in favour of being a lousy painter. only trouble is, being a lousy writer required only a typewriter, estimated cost, $5 at salvation army...painting with be pricier, so for now i will stick to brown wrapping paper and tempura paints.

K-bot will get me a job at the Greyhound station, provided I actually go down and apply before it's too late. she's a nice girl, but all her performance art involves drinking whole bottles of blackberry wine.

also, i will have being writing useless garbage here for three years as of tommorrow. i have progressed very little. if you see me, please tell me to go outside. i need fresh air and exercise, not this place.