My karma must be rotten today. The day started out ok. I woke up early (for me) @ 6:30. Took a shower and got ready for school. My sister and I (w/ my neighors) left around 7:05 and actually got a good parking spot @ 7:10. First thing I realized was that I left my main notebook (with my Precalculus, Physics, and Computer Programming assignments) at home. Yay.
It's not really a big deal, because I was planning to use the ol' "I left my notebook at home" excuse in Physics so I could have another day to work on my makeup homework (I'll explain this in a second). What WAS a big deal was that my Computer Programming and Precalculus assignments were in that notebook, and both were graded that day. Yay again.
The thing about the Physics homework was that my teacher was an old hippie with a lot of stories to tell. Since he started telling almost a story a day, I figured I could do my Precalc homework before it was due the next day. I did this about 3 days in a row only to find out later that he would stop his stories in the middle to incorporate some sort of physics problem that applied to our reading. What pissed me off about that was that he couldn't come out and say: "These problems I'm about to do on the board will be collected and graded at a later date". If he would have done that, I'm POSITIVE I would have payed attention and done the problems, but no. So later, when he began collecting the problems after about 3 days of doing this, I was sitting there, with NONE of the problems done.
On top of missing my CP assignment for that day, we got back our graded assignment from the PREVIOUS day. I got an 11/20 because of little things here and there. That pretty much ruins my perfect grade for CP. Every assignment up until that one I scored 100% on, even the quizes. I also found out today (after our Novels teacher posted the grades on the board) that the grades that are calculated in my Palm Pilot program (Four.Zero is the name of it) are not consistent with the grades she has. My PPilot says that I've got a 90% or so, when in fact I've got closer to a 79%. Hrm. I guess I need to check with my teachers on grading policies. I threw away all those papers we get the first day. Whoulda thunk I would have needed them.
Mr. Nice Guy
I don't know why I do it, but I agreed to do my friends Psychology vocab homework. He said he'd do my Precalc (which he didn't end up doing). I didn't have time to read for Novels class and got a 3/10 on the daily quiz. There was a homework scheduled conveniently AFTER Novels class just so I wouldn't have time to read my book. My CP Teacher piled on 3 assignments and I've still got 20 Physics problems to catch up on. I've got 4 different books to read (1 for Novels, The Great Gatsby, and 2 for Independent Reading, The Hobbit, Hannibal, Neuromancer). Not much reading, but still reading. On top of that, I don't get to go the Stompfest (huge LAN Party in Indianapolis) because of my stupid family. I don't have any reason to go. Nobody cares what I do in my family. They are all farmers, so it's not like I expect them to understand anything I do. What's the point?
11:20 AM - Day Dreaming about Friends
I've been thinking about Sat. I told everyone on Friday that I was going to get a bunch of people together to go bowling, but what happens when I call everyone up? Well...I dunno, none of them would answer. And when I did get ahold of one person, they already had plans. Blah. Whenever I plan anything, everyone is too busy. Whenever anyone of my other friends plans anything, suddenly everyone's plans can be moved in order to partake in whatever dumbass activity they've got going.
It seems most of my friendships are fake. I only have one really strong friendship at the moment with a guy who I've only recently started talking too again. (Some past events broke up our friendship). Friendships that I thought were really good and were true on both sides turned out to be fairly weak and fragile. Nobody seems to treat me like I'm a real person. They don't care for my feelings or opinions. This sounds rather selfish, but I am always there for each and everyone of those people, and I get treated like shit in return. Am I the one somehow causing this? Is this all my fault? WTF am I supposed to do?
My friend Lori seems to be getting shitty whenever something that Colin does pisses me off. Like it's all my fault. I got mad today because I was trying to do a physics lab with my partner and all Colin was doing was harassing my partner (who is more of a man than Colin will never be) and whining like a 2 year old because he thought it was cute. I'm trying to do my homework (because I know if i don't do this, I'm fucked because of the problems) and he's over their acting like a baby. My niece who is 6 is less annoying than Colin is. I know Lori and Colin are dating, but what is the point of her reacting like she does? I care for her and it hurts when she gets mad at me when I'm annoyed by her boyfriend.
I feel so unorganized today. The Palm Pilot thing being a large part of it. Not having my homework done just makes me feel empty.
RIght now the whole world feels emtpy to me. I wish it didn't, but it does. I don't see a purpose to all of this. Maybe I'm looking too much at the big picture.
1:35 PM - Just thinking
In my mind I believe that a girlfriendwould have to be someone who was true to me and themselves. I know I'd be true to them, otherwise, why would I be dating them? I also believe the physical part to the relationship woul d mean as much as the emotional. I'm not talking hardcore sex, but I mean like kisses, hugs, cuddling, etc.
Don't tell me I'm too young to fall in love or that "Trust me, I've been there, you are making a mistake", because that's bullshit. Why are you trying to stop me from doing what I think is right, althought it probably isn't. Let me "stick the penny in the socket". How else am I supposed to learn?
That's all the rambling I had at school...so that's it for today.