So, I got a day off work
yesterday, which was good. What wasn't
so good was the violent vomiting
that preceded it, the night before. I now know for sure that I have some sort of intolerance
to kangaroo meat
What's that, you say? You were eating kangaroo
meat? That's disgusting! Yeh, well, it tastes good, and it's cheap, and I'm supporting the native farming industry
. Or something.
But I won't be eating any more cooked pieces of our national icon
, that's for sure. There's no mistaking my gastroenteritis
for a bad piece of schnitzel
We called the doctor at 11:30pm, he showed up around 3am, about an hour and a half since the vomiting had stopped
... but at least he gave me something to suppress any further regurgitation
, so I could finally drink something and rehydrate
And what was best, is that I had Anna
there comforting me, wiping my forehead with a cool towel, and generally being the perfect girlfriend
that she is. And then I got to spend all of yesterday with her, lying in bed till noon, just sitting around chatting, talking again about how funny it is how we got together. (It took us a year of being attracted to each other before we finally grasped the opportunity
that was staring us in the face)
I finally caught up with Rob last night, it had been a very
long time since he'd been over... we're still comfortable talking with each other, which was good, we had a lot of laughs... it's a shame we don't get to see each other so often, but as we said last night, everybody is getting busier, and as long as we can do things like we did last night, just get together and catch up comfortably every now and then, then we'll still have a good relationship
Anyway, I guess I should get to work. Bah.
It makes me sick, it ties my stomach in knots, to see how much I was hurting her
without even realising. I did
think it was normal; it was the way we'd been enjoying ourselves since we 16 years old, the past 5 years of our lives. I thought I'd slowed down, I was cutting down on the alcohol
, drinking less, though still going on the occasional binge
... I didn't think much of it. (Apart from the embarassment
sometimes caused by such binges)
I knew she
didn't like drinking, didn't really approve of getting drunk, so I tried to keep it away from her. Even that was inconsiderate, and I was stupid not to see that.
'...when we break up'. The fact that she was thinking that way makes me hurt the most, I think. I can't even bear to think about what might have happened if she never told me, if I kept going the way I was.
didn't think I could change, but I will, and already have... after talking to her about it, I see it in a different light... I can see that I had a problem, and that it may have escalated
into something much worse
... I personally don't think it would have, but I can see how she would've thought so.
But she is my motivation
, and I don't ever want to hurt her like that again; that is what's going to keep me from getting drunk in future. I love her
, and I want her to be happy
, and I never, never
want to hurt her again.
back to October 8, 2001
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