Natural Light is the greatest beer ever. This is a beer with no negative qualities. It is cheap: you can get a case of 24 for $7 from a Pennsylvanian beer distributor if you do your research.

Natural Light (a.k.a. Nattie Light) is produced in St. Louis, Missouri by the factories of Anheuser Busch, that rival in wonder and pure imagination the factories of Willy Wonka himself. Nattie Light is a fantastic brew. Its yellowish color is the exact and perfect yellow as specified by the Royal Canadian Ministry of Spectrometry.

It provides the perfect pour.

Natural Light's classic blue and slate countenance is recognized in over 76 countries and has been voted the Most Bingeable Beer of Show by eight consecutive meetings of the Munich Beer Diet. Nattie Light is the essential beer for any player of beer drinking games because of its simple yet elegant nose and nearly regal body.

Because of its magical ingredients (some believe it to contain pure liquid gold) Nattie Light is in fact skunk-proof... if you follow the rules. (To skunk a beer is to ice the beer, warm the beer, then proceed to ice the beer again). Skunking of Nattie results in a drinkable isotope of increasingly splendid complexity as long as you drink the beer on even skunkings:

  • Once skunked Nattie: Undrinkable... the Nattie is inbetween drinkable states of skunkability.
  • Twice: Almost exact to its Zero Skunked cousin, but with a slight raspberry flavor that seems to come from nothing.
  • Thrice: Undrinkable... if you are brave enough to open such a can you will be met with a rancid waft.
  • Four times: Pleasurable and warm. Four times skunked Nattie Light is the pride of Bohemia.
  • Five times: Undrinkable... dangerous and cancerous with a hint of goat.
  • Six times: Smooth, with a Germanic body and the courageous after taste of Mediterranean spice.

This continues until ten times skunked Nattie, where all afterwards are undrinkable. However, research suggests an island of stability may exist after fifty-eight skunks. This is the holy grail of Nattie Lightists, and has yet to be attained with current refrigeration technology.

All Natural Light bubbles are the same size and are perfect spheres.

P. Diddy is a closet Nattie Light drinker, as is Laura Bush.