Why has child abuse survived the ages as a part of the human experience?
What is the underlying reason why fathers are often physically aggressive with
their young daughters?
Christina Aguilera knows. In fact, Christina embodies the ideal output from
the ancient fatherly rage. A timeless tradition in China commands parents to
strap the feet of women from the earliest age, as they endure ritualistic pain
and hardening mental agony. Yet from this cocoon of hardship emerges a
beautiful butterfly... a gorgeously maimed female cleft foot, known as a
Lotus Foot. In a similar fashion, Christina's father worked tirelessly to
form her into the successful, outspoken, talented young women we all know and
love and constantly have to lovingly close away in the form of a Japanese pop
up ad.
"No!" you say, "There is no way Christina enjoyed being battered by her
father!" I say to you skeptics: haven't you heard her new song? The song is an
ode to her father, a tribute for his hard and diligent work. For without his
tireless and ceaseless physical coaching, Christina would just be one more yinser
runt from the 'burgh working at Taco Bell, or some other place
where underprivileged and battle-wound free little brats work. The title of
the song is "Fighter," but this really is a modest understatement.
She's more than a "fighter," she's a multi-million dollar globally recognized
pop music superstar! Let us examine the chorus of her hit single:
Fighter
by Christina Aguilera
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Yes yes! The physical nature of a good ol' fashioned child
abuse really toughens up a young female, and prepares her for the real world
ahead.
Makes me work a little bit harder
And oh boy, she sure is a hard worker! She lives a strenuous
lifestyle, tirelessly working on her music while selling herself on television
as an excellent visual performer.
It makes me that much wiser
Christina navigates through Hollywood better than most 50 or 60 year veterans of the industry. She definitely is wise!
So thanks for making me a fighter
And a fighter she sure is! She has had to endure lyrical
onslaughts from such industry peers as Eminem and Fred Durst from
Limp Bizkit.
Made me learn a little bit faster
Oh boy she is fast! She's already put out six solo
albums by the age of 22!
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Scrape away all that stage makeup, and you've got a pretty
thick skinned little girl, taking verbal punishment from the media for her
latest metamorphosis into a more risqué entertainer.
It makes me that much smarter
Christina has to constantly deal with industry brass, and so
far she has shown that she is deft enough to win over record executives and
the like.
So thanks for making me a fighter
Aw, isn't that cute. Christina atones with her father,
thanking him for his commitment to child abuse excellence.
2003.6.29@18:36 AnBolb says re Christina Aguilera presents the argument for child abuse:
well if Christina was my daughter
I'd probably beat the shit out of her as well
TWAJS