A CALL TO ARMS!

I’ve been trying to think up something to do for the annual event known here in town known as the Doo Dah Parade. It’s held every year on the 4th of July and is used as vehicle to poke fun at events that are going on in either the local news or on a national level. Sorta like a form of protest in a good natured, freedom loving, thought provoking and helluva good time kinda a way. People line the streets drinking beers and Bloody Mary’s and for the most part, the cops manage to leave it alone or at least have a sense of humor about the whole thing.

I’ve also been wanting to march in the damn thing for as long as I can remember but never mustered up the courage to actually take part in the event. I’d like to change that this year and become more than a spectator. I’m hoping that with a little cooperation from the assembled noders, I might be able to.

But first, a little background music to set the scene and the mood.

Here in the Great State of Ohio, we are run for the most part by “fiscally conservativeRepublicans who call most of the shots when it comes to managing your hard earned tax dollars and make investments on behalf of those agencies that reap the benefits of those tax dollars as they see fit. This year it has come to light that the powers that be decided to invest 50 million dollars on behalf of the Ohio Workers Compensation Bureau a few years ago. While there's nothing odd or unusual about that, you'd figure that these folks know what they were doing and would invest in sound traditional instruments such as stocks or bonds or mutual funds. You know, something with a track record that could be monitored and something that was liquid that could be sold in the event that they had to raise some cash. What did our elected leaders choose?

Rare coins, baseball cards and other things known as collectibles (Read Beanie Babies). To top it off, the person that the 50 million was given to is one of the top Republican fund raisers here in the state and he just happened to own the coin shop where the investment was made.

As of this writing, about 13 million dollars has come up missing. Coins that were purchased for hundreds of thousands of dollars have been re-sold for a penny. Coins that were purchased and were to be delivered have been mysteriously lost in the mail. As a matter of fact, as many as 119 coins can't be located and they are suspected to be stolen by another coin dealer. The investigation is mounting and there a lot of people from the Governor on down who either had their heads up their ass or their head in the sand. Either way, they are now out in the open and it won’t be long before some of those same heads will roll. (Google search - “coingate” for more info)

Just for good measure, another 215 million has been lost in a risky investment in a hedge fund but that’s another story for another time.

Republicans on both a state and national level are disowning themselves of this person and are frantically trying to return any campaign contributions that he might have made to them over the past few years lest they tarnish their good names.

What I’d like to do is recruit some of my fellow noders in a march down High Street at the Parade. We will march under a banner reading "Ohio Workers Compensation Bureau" and I’d like to have a homemade cardboard box drawn up to look like a safe and put some Barbie Dolls, Beanie Babies and baseball cards inside. We will tow it a wagon or a wheelbarrow. I’d like people to be carrying a bastardized form of metal detector or a magnifying glass with them and be scattering rolls of pennies (which I will supply) at the feet of those assembled to watch the parade.

I know, you’re probably thinking I’m nuts or thinking “what’s in it for me?” On the first account, yes I am nuts or at least I’m getting there. I’ve been sitting on the sidelines too long and complacency has gotten the better of me. I’d like to change that and you can help.

As for the second account, well, you get to march in a parade, have some fun and I’ll probably wind up buying anybody who decides to take up my cause a beverage of their choice as well as having a story to tell..

Join with me brothers and sisters and we shall attempt to right this wrong imposed upon the fine citizens of the Great State of Ohio!

LET FREEDOM RING!!!

Signed,

A patriotic and freedom and fun loving American

Anybody interested in my little venture, please /msg me.

Thanks

Bob

Marchers

borgo + whatever locals I can recruit with vague promises of beer and immortality

borgette

karma debt - "We miss our friends: A dysfunctional noder family reunion: and, THANK YOU for taking this on. I'M IN. ccunning- re We miss our friends: A dysfunctional noder family reunion : brilliant! we should also get baseball cards and toss them out (they are cheap and we can keep the gum!). Of course the safe needs a big "Workers Comp Investment Fund" sign. And paper plates taped to wrapping paper tubes covered in aluminum foil make great metal detectors... brassmule says re We miss our friends: A dysfunctional noder family reunion: I'll bring pennies. Or I'll buy a new fridge and bring the box. Or I'll just march. Sounds like lots of fun those politicians are having with money, we might as well join in... witchiepoo says re We miss our friends: A dysfunctional noder family reunion: oh my god that is the best. I will gladly march WITH my kids. That is the bomb! Too bad we can not make a big piggybank that poops out pennies. Transitional Man says I'm there, and I have a metal dectector. It doesn't work, but who cares . . . Lucy-S says Shining them up this very moment ;-) Wuukiee says re We miss our friends: A dysfunctional noder family reunion: WHOOT! Sign me up! mordel says would it be out of line to pass out news clips with a summary of the issue at hand? I'd be up for making a bajillion of 'em, though cutting them into pass-out-able pieces is a little daunting... anyways, I'm in it for the immortality.