Ok, when I first heard the title of this movie, it brought to mind images of monsters of all types dancing and drinking their respective asses off in some kind of bar or club. I pictured sexy monsters dancing in cages with sexy monster costumes and other monster patron types tipping them profusely and indulging in secret monster sex acts.
Well, we all know titles can be deceiving and the result of this effort might go down as one of the worst pieces of filmmaking ever thrust upon the movie going public. So, grab your sweetheart, your popcorn and a glass or two of your favorite beverage, turn down the lights and make yourself comfortable as I try and weave the tale of just how bad Monster a Go Go really is.
If you can believe it, the tag line for the movie went something like this.
”The picture that comes complete with a 10-foot-tall monster to give you the wim-wams!”
Don’t ask because I don’t know…
Cast of Characters
Frank Douglas- A brilliant portrayal of astronaut turned monster by an actor that went by the name of Henry Hite. Apparently, the only qualification to get the leading part was to be tall and Mr. Hite was indeed that. In deference to his name he clocked in at seven foot six inches.
Dr. Logan #1- Nobody seems to know why he appears in the movie in the first place except to be killed off early by the evil Frank Douglas
Col. Steve Connors- Most early monster movies had to have some kind of military angle and Colonel Connors does just that. He devises an ingenious plot to capture the wayward Frank Douglas that involves everything but the kitchen sink.
Some Guy Named Carl- Nobody knows why Carl was in the movie except for his claim that he’s from the “Space Agency Astrophysical Laboratories” located in that hotbed of space exploration, Chicago, Illinois.
Dr. Nora Kramer- A colleague of Some Guy Named Carl, she’s charged with coming up with an antidote for the ailing Frank Douglas to return him to his pre-monster lovable self. She fails miserably.
Some Girl Named Ruth- Apparently some kind of relation to pre-monster Frank Douglas. Wife? Sister? Girlfriend? In a stunning plot twist, she disappears midway through the movie for no apparent reason and is never seen or heard from again.
Dr. Chris Manning- Civilian counterpart of Col. Steve Connors who pokes around the woods a lot with a flashlight, always on the lookout for the monster. Suffers the same fate as Some Girl Named Ruth and disappears for no apparent reason.
Dr. Brent- Arrives on the scene after the mysterious disappearance of Dr. Chris Manning and takes over whatever job that he was supposed to be doing in the first place.
Dr. Logan #2- Brother of Dr. Logan #1 and has an axe to grind.
Now that the stage has been set and the opening credits are beginning to roll we’re treated to a visual feast of an astronaut’s legs dancing through a galaxy far far away. As the legs fade out the music kicks in, our ears are assaulted with the following lyrics.
Go, you monster, back to space
I don't like your haunted face
Go, you monster, go
Go, you monster, go now
Go, you monster, go!
You may come from beyond the moon
But to me, you're just a goon
Go, you monster, go
Go, you monster, go!
If you’re still with me and haven’t headed to the exits or demanded a refund yet, you’re to be commended because the boredom and lack of any resemblance of a coherent plot is what lie in store.
Narrator “What you are about to see may not even be possible within the narrow limits of human understanding.”
Well, thank God for that because how this movie ever got made in the first place is well beyond any narrow limits of human understanding.
The basic premise is that astronaut Frank Douglas is shot up into space on some kind of mission. Since the movie never reveals why he went up in the first place, it’s up to you to decide. Anyway, upon his descent, his capsule is blasted with radiation and gamma rays and all other sorts of space dementia and he comes back a disfigured raving lunatic intent on killing anything he can get his hands on.
From the looks of it, the spacecraft itself comes down in some secluded woods on the outskirts of Chicago (huh?) and isn’t large enough to hold a child, never mind the seven foot six astronaut. By the time the military and civilian project members get to the capsule, Frank Douglas/monster has already began his rampage.
The next hour and a half or so are so non-compelling that one is compelled to watch. Between stilted dialogue and periods of silence that seem to go on for minutes at a time, the lack of tension mounts and mounts. The monster Frank Douglas is finally cornered in a sewer line and just about as the gang is going in to either rescue him from monsterdom or kill him outright, a mysterious telegram arrives that reads:
TOP GOVERNMENT PRIORITY
COL. CONNORS, INVESTIGATIVE UNIT
ASTRONAUT FRANK DOUGLAS RESCUED IN NORTH ATLANTIC
ALIVE AND WELL AT 1200 HOURS
ADVISE AND ACKNOWLEDGE
N.A.S.A , WILLIAMS, D.O.
And then the movie ends right then and there and you’re left thinking “What the fuck was that?” They all turn around and go home and leave the monster/Douglas to prowl the sewers of Chicago and wreak his havoc on innocent women and children alike. Nobody wants to know how the hell Frank wound up about 7500 miles away and what the hell he was doing there in the first place.
I dunno what these folks, those who made the movie, were on at the time but this film was made in 1965 and the drug scene was just getting started.
That explains a lot.
I’ve seen this movie before on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and they did their usual masterful job of filling in the blank spots. The rest, such as character depictions was culled from http://www.agonybooth.com/monster_a_go_go/
Written in conjunction with The B Movie Quest