First up - no offence to Americans, and you're all welcome to link Dumb non-Americans Stories to this node (end diplomacy).

Just to share this little gem with other people though: I was in Wokstation in Dublin about a month ago, enjoying the spare ribs, surrounded by tourists as happens in Temple Bar. This American guy walks in, sits down and starts announcing very loudly that he regarded all Irish people as being scum, thieves and knackers. He then started offering to kill anyone who disagreed with the knife he claimed to have with him.

Obviously, nobody did disagree, mainly because none of them spoke English. I didn't, because I'm so spineless. He carried on yelling, and started to explain why he hated all Irish people.

Apparently he had just been in a pub across the road and had started chatting to an Irish guy. After a while this guy said he was going to the bar and offered to fetch a drink for the American. The American accepted the offer, asked for a pint of Guinness and gave him a £50 note.

Much to his surprise, and to my great amusement, he never saw the Irish guy, his pint or his £50 ever again.

Some would call that robbery. I call it natural selection.