It seems to me that everytime I get really happy with my surroudings and life, it just goes down the drain. I hate having to constantly worry about whether or not the next problem that comes my way will just make me go into complete insanity. I'm 16! Why should I have to go through this stuff? I shouldn't be getting depressed over money or where my next meal will come from. I should be worrying about where I'm going to hang out tonight.

School doesn't make it any better. Since I've changed from the Richmond Public School system to Henrico's, my grades have been crap! I was in the National Junior and Japanese Honor Society's. I was making A's and B's, now I get Average Joe C's. I'm not average at all!

It's so hard not to just break down and cry in the middle of the day. Sometimes, at night I can't get to sleep because the tears have flooded my pillow and the wetness stings my cheek. I don't have anyone that I think will be able to understand where I'm coming from. My mother will just say that God will make a way and all that stuff, but why does God let these things happen to me if he loves me so much? I shouldn't be anticipating death or even thinking about when my sweet date with Death will come and he'll buy my ticket to wherever I'm supposed to go.