There is a satellite, charging cyclically forward through a happy, blue sky. Within this satellite, blasting around our Earth, are several items.

The first of those items is an infinite amount of propellant--rocket fuel which is as light as air and burns at 100% efficiency. Because of this, the satellite will continue to stay in low Earth orbit until the end of time.

Also on this spacecraft is a hull made of a Durasteel alloy with a Cortosis Weave. This makes the satellite light as a feather, and also greatly improves its fortifications, making it invulnerable to all attacks of any nature, even lightsabres. This will ensure that we can't shoot it down, no matter how big our weapons are.

Inside of this glittering shuttle, deep in the hold, is a food synthesizer. It takes hydrogen gas from our exosphere, converts it into tasty, nutritious food, and is powered eternally by the same energy source which makes the satellite circumvolve forever.

Because this is a very sophisticated hurtling death sphere, there are highly advanced computers. In fact, the machines are so futuristic and complex that they have the power to affect people standing on the ground, underneath its geostationary orbit with no detectable means to do so. One of the more utile functions of this advanced system is a big, red button. And on this button, in large, bold, white letters is the clause as follows:


The last thing worth mentioning on this flying kitchen juggernaut is the presence of an extremely simple chimpanzee. This creature is warm, safe, and wired-in to the advanced computer system with electrodes directly implanted into certain areas of his brain. This makes sure that, when hungry, the food synthesizer will spit out something nutritious. The computer also adjusts environmental conditions of the space bubble to meet the chimp's needs.

However, the very most important bell or whistle in this entire marvel of FutureTech is that red button mentioned previously. Apparently, this button does not only what is claimed to happen when depressed, but it also sends an electric pulse into the sexual reception portions of the poor monkey's feeble brain. Unfortunately for blinklz, the chimpanzee has realized this and presses the button roughly 200 times each hour. It would also seem that this primate doesn't care about my sorrow, and shows no signs of stopping within the forseeable future--assuming, of course, that the future will always keep going, even beyond the end of the world.

So, it could have been because all property is owned by force or threat of force. It could have been because McDonalds makes money by McRaping your pockets. Such is not the case. This is the reason I feel so God damned disenfranchised. And now you know.