Return to Guinea pig (thing)

[Latin name]: Cavius Porcellus, hence its nickname '[cavy]'.

The guinea pig is a small [rodent] native to the [Andes] mountains of [South America]. Among the [locals] there, it is a popular [dish].

Guinea pigs got their names from the loud, high-pitched [squealing] they make when they are [hungry], or when they are [scared], or when they [want to be held], or for [no damn reason at all]. It sounds like this: 'Week week week Weeeeek week WEEEEEEEEEEK!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!! Week week week weeeeek' and it just goes on like that until you give it a [carrot] or some other leftover [vegetable] to shut it up. This is why guinea pigs are usually [fat]. They also make a satisfying [purr] sound when you pet them.

Guinea pigs come in a few varieties, but the most common are smooth-coated and [abyssinian]. Smooth coated guinea pigs look like [overinflated] [rats], and have a shiny coat of short hair. Abyssinian guinea pigs are the closest [terrestrian] relative to the [tribble]. They are covered with thick long hair that is intensely [whorled]. I had a solid [black] one once named [Pudge], and it was difficult to tell which end was the [front].

Although the squeaking can get annoying, guinea pigs actually make pretty cool pets. They are [social creature]s, and will learn to enjoy being petted and held, unlike [gerbils] or [hamsters], who seem to only learn how to restrain their [terror]. The fact that they are pretty [cute] helps as well. Care for a guinea pig means keeping it in a cage with [newspaper] or [wood chip] bedding that should be [regularly changed]. Food is store-bought GP [chow], augmented with leftover [greens] from the [salad] you should be eating every night or two.

My sister and I had a male and female guinea pig when we were younger. When the [female] is in heat, it is a [terrible] thing to behold. When we kept them in separate cages, [Pudge] got as close to [Amy] as he could, and [squeaked] as loud as we'd ever heard until we gave in and put him in the same cage as her. Then it was Amy's turn to start squeaking at top volume as Pudge had his way with her. His [purring] was a [nice touch] as well. Pudge was a black abyssinian, and Amy was a smooth-coated agouti (the natural color of wild cavies; it's a kind of silvery hair). The babies were all sorts of [calico] colors, but all were abyssinian. They were very cute [balls of fluff], and unlike [hamsters], Amy never ate one (that we saw).

Guinea pigs live about 4 years, with good care and love.