The dream I had last night scared the shit out of me. Partly because of the content, partly because it's just one in an increasingly scary string of related dreams I've been having lately. Ick. I got out of bed to write it down at four in the morning, and found myself incapable of forming proper sentences. So this is what came out:

Miller was in my room we were about to go to sleep because for some reason he was supposed to take Jessica's place in her bed across the room for the night and she would sleep somewhere else I made some lame girly joke after I forgot about the arrangement he laughed and walked over to me in the dark grabbing me kissing me with everything he had like a 50-year-old pedophile it was happening before I had the chance to realize how unreal this was how he would never have the balls to do that to anyone regardless of how much more he liked them than me he leaned into my body whispering that he was quite drunk quite out of control I was scared someone might see I freaked out and woke up

woke up with a tingly heavy floating sensation my hand above my head tingles coming in waves I remembered his kiss and strangely wanted to go back to it more tingles I was soon dreaming again

lying on my bed in the dark Jess was there this time sleeping across the room just like she had been before I fell into the dream but something was wrong I couldn't move I got the wavy floating feeling again except there was a strange presence in the room in the heavy dark that was causing this feeling holding me down my chest was heavy and tight and suddenly I was gasping for air except I made no sound in the dark it was so dark in there I was paralyzed still under a bundle of blue covers I tried to cry out to Jessica it came out in a gagged whisper she was asleep but I kept trying and she woke up I said "Jessica help Jessica help Jessica help" just like all the other dreams and she slowly rose I told her I couldn't breathe she nodded

I could move again I grabbed my shoes still gasping for air chest getting tighter and tighter I asked who can help me Jessica who can help me to breathe she said there was a boy downstairs named Joseph who knew about these things I left the room to find him but came back right away because I didn't know this guy at all and I didn't want to wake him up when I walked back in everything was different beds and desks on different walls but the horrible scary something was still there in the dark choking me

I suddenly realized it was a dream but I didn't think I could get out of it this time I thought I might finally be stuck this is it folks but I tried anyway (crouched down and jumped up quick closing my eyes in the air like I always do to escape dreams) and I shot back into the tingly floating feeling coming in waves over my sleeping body I was awake and safe it took me a few seconds to move again Jess was there asleep across from me in the dark I lay horrified I couldn't cry I was afraid to sleep again and being there was too much so I came out here to remember it all.