When you want something or someone with your whole being, when you've tasted that thing for a brief time only to have it taken away, is it better to have known joy and lost it, or never to have known at all and only dreamed of it?

I feel like my heart is slivered glass. I am cut and bleeding. During the day, when I am busy with family and work, the wounds start to heal. But, alone at night, I pick at the scabs until they bleed afresh. I relive that moment, tormenting myself with the memory, knowing that it can never come again.

Ah, god. I've lost myself. And I am looking for answers in all the wrong places. Alcohol is only a band-aid; sex does not fulfill. Where is my centre? I am undone.