hurt in his eyes...
hurt in her eyes...
hurt in his eyes as well...
and here I am on the outside looking in with guts all twisted up like freakish balloon animals
. I want to cry
, not for myself but for the three of them. I've not seen a single tear
, but they're there hiding out somewhere. I want it all to be over, I want the carefree joy that came before. I want to forget, that in a very roundabout way, I am responsible for all of this
If only I had never introduced any of them!
My own bullshit problems are left at the wayside and I sit up at night and try to think of what I could have done and can do to make it right again.
Where's my magic button? The bright red one with RESET written on it in block letters...the one that makes it all go away and gives me my friends back. The way that they used to be.
Even smiles aren't good anymore. They're strained, they think that they're putting on a good front, but even the smiles hurt. Stretched a little too wide, a bit too much joviality about them. It sounds hokey, but the smile never reaches their eyes, they look tired. No, scratch that, exhausted!
I'm so fucking tired of it! I want it to be okay...please somebody make it okay. Give me my friends back, so I can stop crying for them and just be with them.