I won't give you some corny message like "don't do it!" "Don't jump, suicide's a sin".... i don't believe in organized dogma anyway. But beyond the hell thing there's something you might wanna think about. I'm 20 years old and also have what might be called a perfect life, with a boyfriend who loves me to death, a wonderful family, and a rather good education at UCSD. Yet I am often so depresed that I find myself crying in the middle of the day simply because my friend wouldn't call me back. But I found that I could take the pain away by transferring it to someone else- namely, the character in my novel. Now, whenever I'm depressed, I sort of make him the one saying my thoughts and ideas. It's weird, but it focuses me, and makes me realize often how silly and self-indulget i'm being. Sometimes ill go back and delete some passages, sometimes I'll keept them because they're kinda interesting. Why the hell should you care? I dunno, but I've learned that self-inflicted pain is often just my cry for attention, and when I see the others I love close around me I always realize how much they need me and how much I need to be with them. Maybe this isn't the right answer for you, but I just wanted you to know that you weren't the only one, and even though I have never met you, i already want to talk to you and interact with you because you seem like a nice person.