Return to Love's Labour's Lost V.i (thing)

[William Shakespeare]'s [Love's Labour's Lost]. Act V, Scene 1. ([Love's Labour's Lost IV.iii|previous scene] [Love's Labour's Lost V.ii|next scene])
[Love's Labour's Lost I.i|I.i], [Love's Labour's Lost I.ii|I.ii], [Love's Labour's Lost II.i|II.i], [Love's Labour's Lost III.i|III.i], [Love's Labour's Lost IV.i|IV.i], [Love's Labour's Lost IV.ii|IV.ii], [Love's Labour's Lost IV.iii|IV.iii], V.i, [Love's Labour's Lost V.ii|V.ii], [Love's Labour's Lost V.ii part 2|V.ii-2]


ACT V.

SCENE I. The King of Navarre's park.

[Enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, and DULL.]

HOLOFERNES.
Satis quod sufficit.

NATHANIEL.
I praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner have
been sharp and [sententious]; pleasant without [scurrility], witty
without affection, audacious without [impudency], learned without
opinion, and strange without heresy. I did converse this [quondam]
day with a companion of the king's who is [intituled], nominated,
or called, Don Adriano de Armado.

HOLOFERNES.
Novi hominem tanquam te: his [humour] is lofty, his
discourse [peremptory], his tongue filed, his eye ambitious, his
gait majestical and his general behaviour vain, ridiculous, and
thrasonical. He is too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd,
as it were, too [peregrinate], as I may call it.

NATHANIEL.
A most singular and choice [epithet].

[Draws out his table-book.]

HOLOFERNES.
He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than
the staple of his argument. I abhor such fanatical phantasimes,
such insociable and point-devise companions; such rackers of
[orthography], as to speak dout, fine, when he should say doubt;
det when he should pronounce debt,--d, e, b, t, not d, e, t: he
clepeth a calf, cauf; half, hauf; neighbour [vocatur] nebour, neigh
abbreviated ne. This is abhominable, which he
would call abominable,--it insinuateth me of insanie: anne
intelligis, domine? to make frantic, [lunatic].

NATHANIEL.
Laus Deo, bone intelligo.

HOLOFERNES.
Bone? bone for bene: Priscian a little scratch'd; 'twill serve.

[Enter ARMADO, MOTH, and COSTARD.]

NATHANIEL.
Videsne quis venit?

HOLOFERNES.
Video, et gaudeo.

ARMADO.
[To MOTH] Chirrah!

HOLOFERNES.
Quare chirrah, not sirrah?

ARMADO.
Men of [peace], well encountered.

HOLOFERNES.
Most [military] sir, salutation.

MOTH.
[Aside to COSTARD.] They have been at a great [feast] of
languages and stolen the [scrap|scraps].

COSTARD.
O! they have lived long on the alms-basket of words. I
marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word, for thou are
not so long by the head as [honorificabilitudinitatibus]; thou art
easier swallowed than a flap-dragon.

MOTH.
Peace! the [peal] begins.

ARMADO.
[To HOLOFERNES.] Monsieur, are you not lettered?

MOTH.
Yes, yes; he teaches boys the [hornbook]. What is a, b, spelt
backward with the horn on his head?

HOLOFERNES.
Ba, pueritia, with a [horn] added.

MOTH.
Ba! most silly sheep with a horn. You hear his learning.

HOLOFERNES.
Quis, quis, thou [consonant]?

MOTH.
The third of the five [vowel|vowels], if you repeat them; or the fifth, if I.

HOLOFERNES.
I will repeat them,--a, e, i,--

MOTH.
The sheep; the other two concludes it,--o, u.

ARMADO.
Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch,
a quick venue of wit! snip, snap, quick and home! It rejoiceth my
[intellect]: true wit!

MOTH.
Offered by a child to an old man; which is wit-old.

HOLOFERNES.
What is the [figure]? What is the figure?

MOTH.
Horns.

HOLOFERNES.
Thou disputes like an [infant]; go, whip thy gig.

MOTH.
Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about your
[infamy] circum circa. A gig of a [cuckold]'s horn.

COSTARD.
An I had but one [penny] in the world, thou shouldst have it
to buy [gingerbread]. Hold, there is the very remuneration I had
of thy master, thou half-penny purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of
discretion. O! an the heavens were so pleased that thou wert but
my [bastard], what a joyful father wouldst thou make me. Go to;
thou hast it ad [dunghill], at the fingers' ends, as they say.

HOLOFERNES.
O, I smell false [Latin]! 'dunghill' for unguem.

ARMADO.
Arts-man, praeambula; we will be singled from the barbarous. Do
you not educate youth at the charge-house on the top of the [mountain]?

HOLOFERNES.
Or mons, the hill.

ARMADO.
At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.

HOLOFERNES.
I do, sans question.

ARMADO.
Sir, it is the King's most sweet pleasure and affection to
congratulate the princess at her [pavilion], in the posteriors of
this day, which the rude multitude call the afternoon.

HOLOFERNES.
The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable,
[congruent], and measurable, for the afternoon. The word is well
[culled], chose, sweet, and apt, I do assure you, sir; I do assure.

ARMADO.
Sir, the King is a noble gentleman, and my familiar, I do
assure ye, very good friend. For what is inward between us, let
it pass: I do beseech thee, remember thy [courtsy]; I beseech
thee, apparel thy head: and among other importunate and most
serious designs, and of great import indeed, too, but let that
pass: for I must tell thee it will please his Grace, by the
world, sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder, and with his royal
finger thus dally with my [excrement], with my mustachio: but,
sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no fable:
some certain special honours it pleaseth his greatness to impart
to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the world:
but let that pass. The very all of all is, but, sweet heart, I do
implore [secrecy], that the King would have me present the
princess, sweet chuck, with some delightful [ostentation], or show,
or pageant, or antic, or firework. Now, understanding that the
curate and your sweet self are good at such eruptions and sudden
breaking-out of mirth, as it were, I have acquainted you withal,
to the end to crave your [assistance].

HOLOFERNES.
Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies. Sir
Nathaniel, as concerning some entertainment of time, some
show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by our
assistance, the King's command, and this most [gallant],
illustrate, and learned gentleman, before the princess, I say
none so fit as to present the Nine Worthies.

NATHANIEL.
Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?

HOLOFERNES.
Joshua, yourself; myself, [Alexander]; this gallant
gentleman, [Judas Maccabaeus]; this swain, because of his great
limb or joint, shall pass [Pompey] the Great; the page, [Hercules],--

ARMADO.
Pardon, sir; error: he is not quantity enough for that
Worthy's thumb; he is not so big as the end of his club.

HOLOFERNES.
Shall I have audience? He shall present Hercules in minority: his
enter and [exit] shall be strangling a [snake]; and I will have an
apology for that purpose.

MOTH.
An [excellent] device! So, if any of the audience [hiss], you may
cry 'Well done, Hercules; now thou crushest the snake!' That is
the way to make an offence [gracious], though few have the grace to do it.

ARMADO.
For the rest of the Worthies?--

HOLOFERNES.
I will play three myself.

MOTH.
Thrice-worthy gentleman!

ARMADO.
Shall I tell you a thing?

HOLOFERNES.
We [attend].

ARMADO.
We will have, if this fadge not, an [antic]. I beseech you,
follow.

HOLOFERNES.
Via, goodman Dull! Thou has spoken no word all this while.

DULL.
Nor understood none neither, sir.

HOLOFERNES.
Allons! we will employ thee.

DULL.
I'll make one in a dance, or so, or I will play on the [tabor] to
the Worthies, and let them dance the [hay].

HOLOFERNES.
Most dull, honest Dull! To our [sport], away.

[Exeunt.]


[William Shakespeare]'s [Love's Labour's Lost]. Act V, Scene 1. ([Love's Labour's Lost IV.iii|previous scene] [Love's Labour's Lost V.ii|next scene])
[Love's Labour's Lost I.i|I.i], [Love's Labour's Lost I.ii|I.ii], [Love's Labour's Lost II.i|II.i], [Love's Labour's Lost III.i|III.i], [Love's Labour's Lost IV.i|IV.i], [Love's Labour's Lost IV.ii|IV.ii], [Love's Labour's Lost IV.iii|IV.iii], V.i, [Love's Labour's Lost V.ii|V.ii], [Love's Labour's Lost V.ii part 2|V.ii-2]
Text taken from [project gutenberg]

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