Have I mentioned before how much I am opposed to weekdays?
If it's a weekday, the chances are pretty good that I won't be able to sleep, or, if I can get to sleep, it'll only be for an hour or two. That seems to be the case today. It's been even harder than usual lately, as I've been trying to wean myself off of sedative drugs. I have Klonopin and Ambien readily available, not to mention alcohol to mix them with (I know, I'm bad), but both Klonopin and Ambien disrupt the short-term/learning memory, and I'm damned sick of not being able to remember recent conversations.
Apparently my girlfriend and I had a whole big conversation about cunnilingus during menstruation a few weeks ago and I can't recall a scrap of it. Taking one to two milligrams of Klonopin and then drinking a Stolichnaya Citrona or two is directly responsible for that.
Well, I know I'm ultimately at fault for taking Klonopin in the first place, but you know, it's really hard to get to sleep and stay asleep without chemical assistance. I've tried everything to get to sleep in a normal sort of way and so far nothing works. I can't even meditate because I can't sit still or keep my mind clear enough to achieve a trancelike state. It fucking sucks.
It's 1:21PM now, and I've got to work at 9:00PM. I am completely uncertain about whether I will be able to sleep between now and then. If I can't... then it'll be a real fun night at work, because by the time I get off work, I'll have been awake for about 36 hours. As any insomniac can tell you, any hour awake after 20 or so makes you feel more and more like a brown paper bag full of dog poop.
There's only so many things I can do if I can't get to sleep, and I've already done all of them this morning. I read more of The Silmarillion, played a few games of NHL 2002, spent what seemed like aeons on E2, and taken the maximum number of baths one can reasonably take in a day.
Let me also take this opportunity to express my hatred of the United Parcel Service. I ordered some products from firegirl.com on August 8, and received the shipping invoice via email from UPS the following day. The "scheduled for delivery" date was August 14 -- today. See how that doesn't really make sense below:
Status: In Transit
Scheduled Delivery: Aug 14, 2002
Shipped to: NEW ORLEANS, LA, US
Shipped or Billed on: Aug 8, 2002
Date Time Location Activity
Aug 12, 2002 1:42 P.M. CACH, IL, US UNLOAD SCAN
Aug 10, 2002 10:41 A.M. CACH, IL, US ARRIVAL SCAN
Aug 9, 2002 2:00 A.M. WORCESTER, MA, US DEPARTURE SCAN
1:52 A.M. WORCESTER, MA, US ARRIVAL SCAN
Aug 8, 2002 9:30 P.M. PORTLAND, ME, US DEPARTURE SCAN
8:23 P.M. PORTLAND, ME, US ORIGIN SCAN
3:04 P.M. US BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED
As you can see, my parcel is still in CACH, IL, US, which is about 1000 miles from its final destination -- New Orleans. I will be highly pissed off if that parcel doesn't traverse the final 1000 miles left in its journey by the end of the day. However, if UPS crushes or destroys the parcel, the joke's on them -- it contains two bottles of hot sauce; one Dave's Insanity Sauce (heat level 10+) and one Thai pepper/ginger sauce (heat level 6). If they break either of the bottles, I can only hope that whoever handles the parcel isn't wearing gloves.