Minnesnota Shmota!

Here is grand story of a bitchen adventure pip pip. Luckily long time friend of mine, LitBolt was able to travel with me. We start off our long 8 and a 1/2 to 10 hour drive from Central West Minnesota to Iowa City by eating fantastic scrambled eggs, toast, and drinking some of the blackest coffee at LitBolt's home at 6:45 a.m. After a game of trying to guess LitBolt's new birthday present with his parents we are on our way to Fargo, ND.

LitBolt has a test at 9:00 a.m. at which time I go and gather much needed groceries for the trip and the party. We then gather our directions from our good friends at both Mapquest, and Mapblast. As we exit on I-94 W. we realize we have plentiful maps to help us travel into unknown territory. Unfortunately for us we have 3 North Dakota maps, and 1 South Dakota maps, two states in which we were not going to travel through. So we attempted to travel through Minnesota which we do just fine. Once we enter into Iowa we stop at the travel center and pick up a map and an extremely useless travel guide (great souvenir however). Also upon entering Iowa we attempted to play a small game I entitled “lets see how friendly Iowa is”. Unlike Minnesota, where we are from and everybody knows your name, Iowa as we determined with our game, is not very friendly. The game goes like this, wave at cars and see how many wave back. Each person that waves in the car is a point. So if you get the driver and the passenger 2 points. With the exception of people driving for business (UPS, ect.) you get 2 points for them. We played this with approximately 150 cars, trucks and what not. We were able to rack up a small 25 points. Final note Iowan’s are asses (sorry to all Iowan’s). We would easily make 150 points in our hometown/area. We also spend most our entirely to long of a drive in deep conversation about things that really don't matter.

Luckily for us the drive took less time then expected even though we screwed up our drive twice. So we enter into the grand area of Iowa City. Easy enough to navigate we get to NatchLucid's apartment. After awkward introductions to the few people that were already there it began to be fun and enjoyable. I greatly enjoyed everybody's company. The whole group ended up being extremely outgoing and fun to be around. The night continued until it was time for the groups to split-up. I along with 4 other people were going to attend No-Shame theatre. The others attened a nightclub called the Alley Cat. We managed to make it as far as the building after a rather scary, cramped ride in a two door Honda Civic. Once we got the building we started talking about No-Shame and how depressing it might get for us to go and watch some people talk about their problems. As if we don't have our own. Of course we were feeding this suspicion off of rumors. We all crammed back into the car and went to NatchLucid's friend's house. Once there we instantly sat down and began playing fighting games on the X-Box. I along with a few others in the group sat down with a beer and enjoyed the company. As the night progressed I began to enjoy the female company a little more. But whatever. I managed to get a little off the deep end after mixing the Vodka with The Cran-Juice. But luckily I wasn't the only one. The day end with some sort of messed up blur as I wake up in the morning. I take my shower to get the drunken stench off me and walk over to NatchLucid's for an outstanding brunch.

Now I have to talk about the brunch. The brunch consisted of not one type of pancakes but 3. The pancakes were outstanding! The best cooks in the house had a contest adding to the determination to make them good. Although I would have to say I enjoyed the blue berry pancakes the best because they had this marvelous topping that went with them. I have to give credit where credit is do, and Saige created the wonderful blue berry pancakes. To back up the pancakes there was a batch of fruit, and soy sausage. MMMM!!

So then after brunch we played a great game called eat poop you cat. I have never played this game but would have to say that I really enjoyed it. The way things got so twisted around made everything just to say it bluntly damn funny. I got passed a sentance telling me to draw George Washington being fond of shirts with cherries on them. I mean come on. So what do I do I screw it up and just put a satan fish eating a jesus fish. They say you loose 40 calories for laughing, well I would have to say we all lost about 500 calories in game. We did manage to get ourselves ready to go shopping, skating, and out to eat before our drunken frenzy at the end of the night. Now I am not much of a shopper but I would have to say visiting a porn store, another store built into a closet (very cramped), a place smelling very good called The Vortex, and going to a very large mall was rather fun. Although, stupid me, I did not bring a lot of cash and guess what most places ONLY TAKE!! We then ended up going to a skating rink which I greatly enjoyed. Mainly because I was one of the select few who knew how to skate. I was able to use my bad charm and skating experience to help out NatchLucid. I also got to spend some time skating and talking with Saige which was most enjoyable I must admit. It made me feel good. As the skating started to dwindle I, LitBolt and erikbjo took part in a sliding competition, which erikbjo won.

Now it was time to leave and take part in the Sushi. Now this is the first time I have ever tried Sushi but the group was very nice and helped me in my ordering experience which was more hell then it should have been. The waitress had a very hard time dealing with 12 customers all at the same time. But we managed and I got my Sushi. I of course went the easy way out by ordering California Rolls, but I also went daring and ordered some Red Snapper, and Fresh Water Eel. I would have to say that I enjoyed the California Rolls the most, but the Fresh Water Eel was also good. It had a bad texture but great taste, it was smoked or something. We also decided to play a quick game of eat poop you cat while waiting for our food. For some reason pac-man ended up puking a power pellet into a toilet. Whatever!

Then we get ourselves ready to go and drink back at the apartment. But of course we had to make a stop at the liquor store and pick up some booze. 3 others and I got some fo'ties and put them in paper bags. For LitBolt and I the fo'ties sucked. They were hard to hold on to with the bag and tasted like shit. So I stuck to mixed drinks. Mostly screwdrivers and jell-o shots. I take credit for the idea. But I do not take credit for the creation. I also screwed them up by putting 4 cups of vodka and no water. Thank you E2 for setting us straight. So as the night progressed I dirty danced, flirted and had what I like to call a fucking great ass time!! I did get to visit the gay side of myself and I would have to say girls fucking rule, and I am sorry all of you out there who are gay, I am unavailable. I did rather enjoy strip jenga, I would have to say Natch is right is saying Wuuk's picture doesn't do her justice.

I managed to get a sleeping partner which probably helped me sleep even more then the booze. When I woke up the morning I find that I am the last, and still extremely tired. So what to do in this situation, sleep some more on the floor in the living room. When I finally awaken we take care of fairwells and hit the road for another extremely long drive. The drive home actually took longer, but I think it is because of all the piss breaks. I would say we had to take one every hour because of our previous stop. I stop at a gas station to fill with gas and grab munchies. This place was great, 3 hotdogs and 2 64 oz. slushies for less then $3.50. But a great cause of bladder swelling. After about 7 hours I let LitBolt sleep and tried to keep myself awake. We managed to make it home alive at 11:30ish. We now try to live our lives as full as the weekend....