Return to Bexley vs. the FBI (idea)

This story takes place back in the early 1970s. At the time, about ninety percent of all of the [LSD] on the [East Coast] had been traced back to one laboratory- [Bexley Hall] at the [Massachusetts Institute of Technology]. Needless to say, the [FBI] wasn't terribly happy about this, and so they decided to make a raid. They called up the [President] of [MIT], and told him that they would be arriving on such-and-such a day at such-and-such a time, and to make sure that none of the students knew about it in advance. And the President thought about this for a little while, and then called up the Bexley Hall [Housemaster] and told him the same thing.

On the day of the raid, the [FBI] pulled up in front of the dorm in their black [Lincoln Towncar]s, and saw to their surprise a giant banner strung over the [Bexley Hall] [courtyard] reading "Welcome FBI." Now, at this point, the agents were pretty sure that the raid was going to be pointless, but they got out of their cars anyway and walked into the courtyard. There, they found a nice painted set of [footprints] with a sign next to them: "Follow the footprints to the room you're looking for."

And the agents sighed, and shrugged, and followed the footprints into the [dormitory],and up a flight of stairs. And around a corner, and down a flight of stairs, and down a hallway, and through a room, and up a flight of stairs and down two flights of stairs and through another doorway and around another corner and so on and so forth until finally they wound up in front of a door in the basement. Now, by this point the agents were starting to feel a little [frustrated], and were not at all surprised to discover that the door they'd come all this way searching for was locked.

One of the agents got ready to ram down the door with his shoulder, and was just preparing to run at it when a door opened right next to them, and a sleepy [student] handed them a key. The disappointed agent tried the key in the lock, and sure enough, the door opened. Inside was a large room, empty of furniture, and freshly [whitewashed]. And there, in the center of the room, sat a plate of [milk and cookies].

Now, at this point, the [FBI] agents were furious. These [MIT students] had been toying with them, and they were darn well going to make sure that they learned their [lesson]. So the agents started to take the place apart from the top down looking for [drugs]. They tore open sofa cushions, knocked over furniture, looking for any evidence they could find.

Finally, they made their way to the basement, and started taking up [floorboards]. And, sure enough, there they found a great chest, wrapped all around in inch-thick chains, and covered in [padlocks]. "Aha!" thought the agents. "Now we've got them!" So they called in the [welding] tools and the giant metal clippers, and they cut through the dozens of chains, and broke open the [lock]. They flung open the chest, and sitting inside were three [marijuana seeds]—exactly one fewer than the minimum needed for a [conviction].

The [FBI] never came back to [Bexley Hall]. The [LSD] lab did shut down on its own, and moved off to [California] somewhere, but by then the [Feds] had learned that [MIT] students can take care of themselves.