So I go outside yesterday to leave work. I don't see my van. What? I look around this other big white van that's parked in my spot. Surely it's on the other side.
No, it's not.
In fact, my van is not there... at all.
GOD DAMMIT!!!
Well, that was a first for me, my fucking vehicle stolen. I don't have time to write a really long one here, lemme just say that I was a very foul-mouthed man for a while there. The cop that took the report was some kind of moron. His clip-on tie wasn't even clipped on correctly. And the first time he went into the computer system he couldn't find any vehicles registered to me or my wife. WTF? Later he found them. Maybe the idiot forgot to scroll down or something. One of the cops who found my van only a few hours later wasn't any smarter. He called my house looking for "Edward." My wife is like "No, there's no Edward here." "Is it his middle name?" "Er, no." "How 'bout a 2002 Chrysler Voyager?" "Yes, did you find our van?!" Sheesh. None of my names, first, middle, or last, sound or is spelled even remotely like Edward. I gotta tell ya, the dudes over at the St. Louis police department aren't the sharpest tools in the shed.
One thing that had me ballistic was that I had three days left working at this company! THREE GODDAMN DAYS. I was working here for six years, not once is a vehicle stolen (plenty of damn license plates and stickers). Then I finally have three days left working at this old warehouse and I'm moving to a job in a much nicer part of town and THEN my vehicle is stolen! Dammit.
Just in case any of you own a Chrysler/Dodge/Plymouth vehicle, a few words of warning: they're incredibly easy to steal. The theif easily took a screwdriver, POP! under the lock to get the door open, then shoved it in the unit where you stick your key, POP! yanked that out, then shoved the screwdriver into the shaft and started up the van and left. Probably took him 15 seconds. The cop showed me how he did it. Now I know how to start and turn off a car with a screwdriver. Hey, if I ever want to change professions, I now know how to easily steal certain kinds of cars.
So the assholes who stole my van made off with my baby's car seat and diapers, and my wife's wallet. We had to cancel, like,...everything. Again. (They've stolen her purse from where SHE works twice in the past two years). Including the bank account. What fun. Oh yeah and the van stinks now, they were smoking weed in it. I'm almost positive. And the radio, of course, was on hip hop station - not my cup of tea.
It could have been worse, I suppose. I guess I could have been car-jacked.
Fuckers.