Heeeyy, all right, time to brew some coffee...with my new coffee maker!

Gonna make some coffee with my new coffee maker...yeah yeah yeah...my new coffee make-uh! yeah!

All right, now, you, old coffee maker, here's your eviction notice. No, no garage sale for you, you're broken and a pain in the ass. Yup, buh-bye. In the trash!

Gee, this trash is overflowing. I'll have to emtpy that later. Maybe after work.

OK, now, new coffee maker, time to get you out of this box! Hmm...I need to cut this. Here, this knife will do. There. All right. Now, I'm just gonna pull you out...um...OK...that's not gonna work. Let's set you on the floor. *GRUNT* All right, come on! *GRUNT* Come on, you bitch! *GRUNT* Come out of the frickin box! *GRUNT* There! All right, let's throw those aside, set this up here. Here, kitty! Here's a nice new box for you to play wit -- aw, there's a good kitty! Hmm..instructions...yeah, right! Toss that over there...OK!

All right, new coffee maker! Awesome! Let's just plug you in...oh, wait a minute, let's get that undone...OK..keep the twisty-tie for something else. All right, we're plugged in! Time to brew some--!

Oh, wait, let's set the time. Let's see...one...two...three...four...five. OK, one..two...eleven...damn I hate doing the minutes...twenty...twenty-five...forty-seven...fifty. There, 5:50 AM. I love coffee makers with timers! What's this? Remove film before using? OK, if the sticker says so...seems like a nice film covering, though. Might keep it from getting dirty. Oh well. Film: you're fired! I kinda like that show.

All right, now let's brew some coffee, bay-bee! Oh, neat. Here's that water filter thingy. Chlorine-free coffee. Nice. Where do you put this? Oh, I see. Better put the grinds in first. There. Now let's put the...wait a minute, the water filter thingamabob doesn't fit. What's--? Oh! You don't need the paper filters with this thing! Rock on! Yeah, now it fits! All right, now let's get the water...put it in the thing...put the pot down there...OK, now, where's the...oh, there's the on button. There! Whoo hoo, bay-bee! We're brewin' some coffee! With the new coffee make-uh! Ta-dow!

Gots a new coffee make-uh, yeah yeah yeah, uh-huh, yeah! Now let's go shower while it brews, yeah!

Wait, let's play a little soccer with the box. "He shoots, he sco--!" Oh, sorry kitty! I didn't know you were still in there!