We've all seen demolitions, if not in person, on television or some type of media. A structure is either in the way of something else new and shiny to be built or it's too old and damaged to be saved via renovation and, for whatever reason, it simply must go. Speaking of renovations, we've all seen this done, too, some way or another. They can range from redoing one room or floor, or virtually the entire structure is gutted and rebuilt. Whichever route is best for the situation, when we are talking about demolitions or renovations, most of the time we are referring to a building: a house, a skyscraper, whatever. But, sometimes, either of the terms can aptly be applied to a life.
From 2012 to 2014 my life underwent either a total demolition or an extreme renovation. I lean toward demolition, but in any case, my life is completely different now in almost every conceivable way from how it was in July of 2012. How often does this happen to people? Yes your life changes dramatically when you graduate high school. When you graduate college. When you get married. And when you have children. They're certainly life-altering events, but some aspects of your life almost always remain and move along with you, like certain items of clothing, no matter how many times you move/pack/unpack, shop, hold garage sales, and reorganize closets, etc. And you usually choose to enter these watershed events by choice.
Mostly not by choice, one by one, I lost or changed every significant aspect of my life that I had held dear, that I had before August of 2012:
- My home
- My partner
- My car
- And my job
And I almost lost my life. No, most fortunately, I did not take my own life as I had seriously considered doing in January of 2013, but this demolition of my previous life was about as close to suicide - without it actually being suicide - as you can possibly get. The good news is, everything was a trade-up. Bad luck turned into good luck.
I love the house I live in much more than my previous one, although it is a rental. (Although I will own again someday there are actually many great advantages to renting versus owning.) I have a lot more space and it's not a borderline hoarder house like my previous house was (which was mostly not my doing). My partner now is definitely better; I mean, the comparison is dramatic. My girlfriend is actually a good and decent person and that's just where the comparison to my ex begins. She is wonderful and exceptional in so many other ways of course, including smart, beautiful, sexy, and really funny. In September 2012, on top of everything else that was going on, I was rear-ended in what was the worst car accident I had ever been in. I guess I've been pretty lucky that the worst car accident I had ever been in still only resulted in minor injuries, whiplash and such. My 2013 Ford Focus is a much more awesome car than my 2004 Ford Taurus. Heated seats are very nice, especially when the temperatures are in the single digits, like they are today.
When the whole nightmare began in August of 2012 that was quite a shock, but how it ended by the Fall of 2014 was not. Therefore perhaps the biggest shock out of all of this was me being laid off of my job of nearly nine years on June 27, 2014. There was no warning whatsoever. I did not see that coming. Neither did the five others who were laid off that Friday. After spending most of the summer and fall unemployed or taking temp jobs here or there, I finally started a new full time job on February 2nd. And it is absolutely a trade-up, as I am making significantly more money than before and it is at a place I had always fancied working at, ever since I was a kid actually. Sometimes I just want to pinch myself; I still can't believe I'm here. It is literally a dream job.
So, yeah, life is good. Well, at least, it certainly can be. It's been a demolition and a rebuild. The new structure is much, much nicer. The offices certainly have a better view. It's not quite done yet. Some touch-ups still have to be made. Maybe the lesson here is that if you can gather enough strength, you can get through anything. And also, even though it really sucks at the time, sometimes when life kicks you real hard in the nuts it's eventually a good thing. Maybe I was too complacent, as for many years I was just going through the motions and unwilling to make changes for the better that I had needed to change and the Universe saw this and decided I needed a real hard kick.
But even having said all that, I'd really rather not go through all that again. OK, Universe?