Tyler Evans
, Grade 3, Mrs. Baker's Class, Shady Grove Elementary
Vichizzle McNizzle, Pimp Daddy

Gay Marriage

Vichizzle: Hey yall, it's the Vichizz here rappin at ya today about dis issue that be all gettin America's panties up they ass. Gay Marriage. Evah since pigs be bustin in on coupla queers gettin cock-to-ass friendly in they apartment down in Tex-ass, they gets charged with some fruit crime and they take it allah way to the Super-ream Court where that bogus law be shut down, people be sayin dat the gay marriage laws be busted down, too. Everbody be talkin bout equal pro-tection shit and now all the dykes and daffodils be linin up to get hitched. Now everbody be askin McNizzle "Hey Vichizz, man, where you stand on gay marriage?" cuz I guess now it's sumthin everbody has to know bout everbody. First off, lemme acks you a question: what the fuck they wanna get married fo??! Suriously. What the fuck anybody wanna get married fo?! Why they linin up to be havin the same rights to get seriously fucked like the rest of us?

Lemme tell yall sumthin bout marriage. The Vichizzle be married at one time. Yup, fo real. I know it hard to believe. Fo bout six months in 1996 the Vichizz be hitched up, found some foxy lay-day at the club, she gets my hearts all a pumpin and I says to myself "damn that one fine-lookin ho!" So I buys her a drink and we gets to talkin next thing ya know I'm givin her a world tour of my dick back at her place. So we date fo while and she's all like "Vichizz when we gettin' serious, baby?" and lemme tell ya, she had dis power ovah me cuz if she be runnin a Amusement Fuck Park she be makin lotta change, yo! So I rush to sign up fo a lifetime pass to Funland Fuckpark; all the free fuckin an suckin a man can evah want. But guess what. It not turn out dat way. Alla sudden, Vichizz be gettin shit fo hangin out wit his crew, then I be stayin out too late, then she start complainin bout my bidness, sayin I should be doin somethin else bettah with my life than pimpin. I say fuck that shit and I outta there. Fore I know it, bitch be takin all my shit. She end up wit my entire muthafuckin James Brown CD collection. I might as wella been in a gay Marriage because alla sudden I be gettin fucked up my ass. Fo real!

Tyler: Marriage is when a man and woman get married, right? At first I didn't know how it could be different. I asked my daddy what people are talking about when they talk about gay marriage. He said that it's when fags and dikes get married. But I was confused. Why would a man marry another man or a woman marry another woman? They can't have kids. He said that's exactly the point. He said that the sanity of Marriage is in jepardy.

So I guess I don't like gay marriage if it will cause married people to go crazy. Maybe that's why our neighbor last year ran up and down the sidewalk naked. Mrs. Baker said it was because he didn't take his medicine but I don't know maybe it was cuz of the fags getting married. My daddy said not to worry about it, though. Someday God will get them like he did Sodom and Gomorrah and then we won't have to worry about laws that say the fags can get married cuz there won't be any. So I guess I'm not worried about it too much.

Vichizzle: So in summization, I say nobody gets married, fuck dat shee-ite. Hey all you dick lickers and muff munchas, you be wise to just leave it like it is, knowhaddi'msayin? You be lucky it illegals in most places, removes the temptization. No matter what body part you be doin yo bidness in, be it the ass or the snatch, if yo get married, you be seriously fucked, ya dig? Lotta people be talkin bout the sank titty of Marriage. Fuck dat. Only thing sanctified is you be gettin a sanctified rod up yo sanctified cornhole if yo ansah "I do" to any question but "Yo you wanna nutha hit off this bong, dawg?" Fo real. But I guess if the gayzz wanna go an get hitched, doesn't affect the Vichizz none. Go and get yo'selves hitched, but then in a few years you see what I'm talkin bout. Won't be lobbin no more fo the right to marry! Werd! Peace, I'm O-U-TEE!

Tyler: I have this friend, Bobby Miller. My daddy saw him once after school and said he walks funny. He says Bobby is probably a fag and might wanna marry me someday. He told me I can't be friends with Bobby anymore. Too bad cuz he was fun. I liked to do drawings of clothes with him and match them up by color. I'm going to miss Bobby.

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