I have am amazing ability to temporarily contain the stink of my farts.

Sometimes if I fart, and my ass is in just the right position in my chair (or whatever type of seat I happen to be in) I can create an air tight seal. I am particularly adept at doing it in the car. My wife sits in a position whereas if she passes gas in the vehicle the stink is released immediately. I, however, can sometimes seal all of my farts for the entire car ride and release all of them at once upon exiting the vehicle, which saves passengers the unpleasant experience of my stink and constant window down-rolling. Just do not be anywhere in the vicinity of where I disembark the car.

But as I said, I can create air tight fart seals with my ass anywhere: at home, at the office, or at the neighbor's house. I was prompted to write this valuable day log when I noticed how good of a fart seal I had today. It has been a fairly gassy day for me, probably because of all the Velveeta cheese I ate last night. I left my chair to go microwave my coffee, which had gone cold, and when I returned I was smacked in the face by the collective stink of two hours' worth of my farts.

"Man," I thought to myself, whilst wiping tears from my eyes, "my ability to seal farts is astounding!"

I do not have a definite theory on how, exactly, this phenomenon occurs and perhaps it is worthy of further scientific study. If there any scientists on E2 who would like to study my ass (a subject worthy of it, of that I assure you), please do not hesitate to /msg me.