...and my mind has emptied itself:
it becomes too much to think sometimes and my head goes into this state of shutdown.
'it is now safe to turn off your mind'. like with windows this doesn't work often, but when it does it's a nice comfort.

today was monday. the first day of another school week. ack, i'm institutionalized and it's bloody frightening. at least i know it's not healthy to become comfortable with the scheduled life, or at least know that there's got to be something more out there in the wide world. i'm stuck in limbo; somewhere between wanting to finally leave school, and having utter fear of starting over.

so many people complain that they are looking for themselves. well, i've got the opposite anxiety. i'm scared of losing myself. i define myself according to the people in my life, and when i sense i am growing apart from them, i think that i'm going to forget who i am.