So
Congress renames
French Fries "
Freedom Fries" in response to
France's rather steadfast insistence that "freedom" isn't just another word for "bomb whoever the fuck you want with little public accountability".
One wonders what other
Orwellian food renaming will soon follow in the congressional cafeterias:
- New Yorker with cheese, was Hamburger (a German city!)
- Pursuit of Happiness Waffles, was Belgian Waffles (pff a French-speaking, EU-supporting Euroweenie country!)
- Chicago Sprouts, was Brussel Sprouts
- Liberty cheese, was Swiss cheese (pfff either you're for us or against us, there are no neutrals!)
- Texan Lettuce, was Romaine Lettuce (Romaine sounds European, so lets rename this to be on the safe side)
- We Won the Cold War Dressing, was Russian Dressing
- Boston Cream Coffee, was Irish Cream Coffee (Ireland ... another neutral nation! And it goes without saying French Roast coffee will have to become Freedom Roast coffee or, preferably, simply not served at all)
- True American Salad, was Greek Salad (Greece is another EU nation and an enemy of our new friends the Turks!)
- Yankeeish, was Danish (the Danes have been a little too quiet in all of this. Listen, Denmark, don't think we'll eat your pastries and buy your smart-looking blonde wood furniture by just sitting back and doing a whole lot of nothing. Seriously, other than taking Garrison Keillor off our hands for a couple years, what has Denmark done for America ever?)
- Gov. Jeb Bush Tea, was Earl Grey Tea (Those Brits look like they're about to pussy out!)
- Back Bacon, was Canadian Bacon (Canada sure hasn't been pulling its load as of late, what with harboring all the terrorists...)
- Atlanta Cheese Steak, was Philly Cheese Steak (oh you thought it would stop with Europe huh? Democratic, labor-union supporting cities are just as guilty as Bin Landen!)