. . . Something I often wish I would do. No more of this "I love you" crap. Sometimes I just get the urge to stop with the "play nice" comments, bring out my stick, and cave in to the physical satisfaction of hitting someone stupid. My ears ache for those fullfilling *THWACK* noises (and the following yelps of pain) that are made when something solid hits human flesh.

Woman approaches counter.
Woman: How much do your pops cost?
Me: The smalls are $.88, the mediums are $.98 and the
larges are $1.08.
Woman: That much for a small?
Me: Yeah, sorry.
Woman: They charge $.88 for a small coffee? What a rip off!
Me: No, actually the small coffee's are $.48 and the larges are $.58.
Woman: What about the mediums?
Me: Actually, we don't have mediums. Just larges and smalls.
Woman looks confused.
Woman walks down to the end of the counter and picks up one of the tiny, free, LABELLED water cups.

Woman: Hello. . .
Woman knocks on her head.
woman: There is only one size here, and they are tiny. I am not paying $.48 for this cup.
Me: Miss. . . The coffee cups are actually right under the coffee pot. See the BRIGHT PINK SIGN on the counter that says,"Coffee cups below coffee pot?"
Woman: I don't like your attitude.

Now, by this point, I have a line of customers and 3 orders on the counter.

Woman grabs a large coffee cup, stalks down to Coke dispenser, and proceeds to fill the cup with Dr. Pepper.
Me: Well, actua. . .
Woman glares, and cuts in front of 6 irrate customers.
Me, Outloud: That will be $.88 Please.
Me, inwardly: *THWACK THWACK*