Things continue to be hit-or-miss, emotionally, but okay-ish physically.


This past week I managed to stick to the exercise schedule I set up: an hour of weight training and half an hour of running three days a week, an hour-long spinning class on the days I'm not doing weights, with a rest day at the end. My new pants are starting to loosen up on me, although they’re still a long way from falling off. Another three weeks to go and I'll step on a scale for the first time since January-- not to mention start my second-to-last semester of college.

As far as food goes, it’s a mixed bag. I’m not eating poorly, but I also don’t think I’m eating enough. I haven’t had a lot of urges to eat, lately, so I’m mainly just trying to remember that I need food to live on a regular basis. Fruit and salad are good, because they don’t require a lot of effort to prepare, particularly with the apartment being in the state it is (read: a total sty, thanks to slovenly roommates and the upcoming move). Still, I should probably eat more. According to the calorie tracker I'm using to figure out how much energy I'm burning with my new routine, I'm burning between 1000 and 1600 calories a day with my new routine. Something to work on, I guess.

As far as how I’m dealing with my self-image issues, that’s… going better than it usually does. Yes, I still have trouble looking at myself in the mirror, but I generally don’t stand there and prod/pinch my body to see how much fat has accumulated on a daily, or even weekly, basis. Yes, there is a weight I’d like to get down to, but it’s about 25 pounds over what I’ve been told my lowest healthy weight should be.

I’ve stopped trying to become something it’s physically impossible for me to be and am settling for making myself into the best I actually can be.

I also gathered up about 15 pairs of pants that are too small for me that have been sitting in my dresser for about three years, collecting dust, and put them in a bag to donate before the month is out.


I’m working on things, one way or another.