Albuquerque is actually a small town of 500,000 people

You might think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

Albuquerque is the biggest small town I've ever been in. You've heard about that 6 degrees of separation thing? In Albuquerque, it's only 2 degrees.

On the other hand, Albuquerque is the smallest big city I've ever been in. All those big city problems you care to think of - pollution, murder, poverty, lousy schools, nearly anything you can think of - Albuquerque's got it and bad. And in addition, being such a small big city, we don't get the benefit of good public transportation, a good public library system, or any other big city plusses.

Not to mention, we have to put up with the reputation those lousy Santa Fe folks give New Mexico.