Today, I had so much planned for myself: wake up, do Italian homework, start photography readings, go to class, finish photo readings, start readings for history and so on and so on.

Today, I did nothing: I woke up at 7 am and drank some water, fell asleep, woke at 8 and felt really sick, tried to sleep it off, woke up at 9 and threw up vegan chocolate cake, beer and sunflower seeds, rinsed out my mouth and returned to bed, slept till 12:30 and drug myself to lunch, ate some frozen yougart, thought I would be sick again, drank some tea, came back to my room and climbed in bed. I stayed in bed until just now. I didn't even go to class. I got up just now because I was daydreaming about dinner and thought I ought to shower and get dressed before I go.

Perhaps my meagar drinking hit me harder than usual. I only had 4 beers, but I also hadn't eaten anything but sunflower seeds and the cake in 10 hours previous.

Also, all my insecurities seem to come out. I just don't see why he'd love me. I just hate me too much to understand. I suppose, this is also something I need to get over quickly. I just want to be able to see his face everday and hear his voice and hold his hand.