I'm in Linwood, a dull, grey little town in the south west of Scotland. I'm standing outside the prestigious Tweedie Hall, the building where I attend my Tae Kwon Do lessons. Something is going on inside.

I take one last look at the heavily vandalised concrete 60's architechture around me and enter the building. I find a wrestling ring in ther middle of the hall, surrounded by spectators.

Two wrestlers enter the ring and begin a match, but it is boring. They make the fact that wrestling is fake seem painfully obvious.

I head outside, but I'm not in Linwood any more. I'm in a dense pine forest. It is very dark, and I can only see a couple of metres in front of me. I walk along carefully, trying not to trip over anything on the ground, and eventually come to a metal gate with a barbed wire fence running along each side.

I wonder why anyone would just randomly decide to put a fence in the middle of a wood. I start climbing over the gate, but it is slippery and I fall. My ribs crash into the metal and I think I might have broken something.

I head back towards the Tweedie Hall. When I enter the buiilding, two other wrestlers are in the ring. Their match is better than the previous one, and the crowd is really getting into it. I look down on the ground and see a discarded newspaper. The headline is my own name.