I'm trying to prove logically that Jerry Lewis is somehow responsible for the war in Iraq.

Definitions:

F: A person is French
S: A person is Saddam Hussein
A: A person hates Americans
B: A person bathes once a week
W: A person wears berets
L: A person loves Jerry Lewis
E: "Exile" Operator. E(x,y) --> (x ^ y)

Premises:

P1: F-->(A ^ B ^ W ^ L)
P2: S-->(~F)
P3: S-->(A ^ B ^ W)
P4: E(S,F) --> (S ^ F)
P5: ~F --> ~L

1. F --> (A ^ B ^ W ^ L)     ( Premise P1 )
2. S --> ~ (A ^ B ^ W ^ L)     ( Premise P2 )
3. S --> (~A) v (~B) v (~W) v (~L)     ( 2, DeMorgan's Law )
4. S --> A     ( Premise P3, Simplification )
5. S --> B     ( Premise P3, Simplification )
6. S --> W     ( Premise P3, Simplification )
7. S --> ~L     ( 3-6 )
8. ~L --> ~E(S,F)     ( 7, Premise P4 )

or
1. S --> ~F     ( Given )
2. S --> ~L     ( Premise P5 )
3. E(S,F) --> (S ^ ~L)     ( Contradiction )

Conclusion: ~E(S,F)     ( 7, 8 )

I haven't attempted to write logical proofs in a while, so this is sloppy. Plus, it's all nonsense anyways. But there you have it. A pseudo-proof that because only the French love Jerry Lewis, he's the reason why Saddam Hussein couldn't be exiled to France and thus avert war.