{nasty violent shock}
There must be a word for the feeling you get, the first time you realize that you are odd.
This sentence (not this sentence, that sentence) scares me halfway to spitless, even after all these years.
You see, when I was a small child, I used to skittishly toy with the idea that perception was not substantially subjective, but utterly so. In one person's mind, we all look like big green monsters. In another person's mind, we speak entirely in "sss" sounds and purple is the only color in the world. Every bit of tangible data in the world exists as nothing more than a blank slate for selective perceptions to draw upon... and if you were to truly see things the way someone else did, it would drive you insane.
I used to suffer dreadful nightmares about being rendered involuntarily telepathic. I saw the hideous green monsters in my mind, and would often peer suspiciously at the people around me, wondering "Which of them sees the monsters? Who could it be?"
Words written upon a page and wafted upon the air become absolute. They attain meaning within the ear and the eye, to each person, their own language, their own sounds.
After a year or so of paranoia, I relaxed. My inner skeptic was beginning to develop, and I knew to take my own imaginings with a grain of salt. Furthermore, I knew I was not telepathic, and therefore likely to be safe. A greater assurance was mine later, when I learned how foreign languages worked... if my idea were true, a written foreign language could not possibly be misunderstood, after all. The irony of the dis-proof was not lost on me.
During my pre-teen years, I confided my former flight of fancy to my mother.
Her response: "Well, in a way, it's true. Everyone does see things slightly differently."
I experienced a brief return to the night sweats after that conversation. This time, it was more of a response to the idea of never being understood by another person.
So I look at the sentence above... and find myself a little bit frightened to look away.
Ummm... what if it IS Spanish??? {whimper}