This is madness. Enough of this scalding, brackish water served in dinky cups and drunk with little pinky fingers stuck out everywhere. Here's something I hope will cause the purists to suffer from convulsions.

Collect the following:

  • A big gallon jar with a lid
  • 10 or 15 Lipton (That's right. Lipton!) tea bags
  • One cup of sugar
  • Sunlight (I guess you folks in England will have to use heat lamps or something.)
  • Patience (Tough for the Americans, I know. Go watch TV or something.)

Here's the fun part. Take that big gallon jar and stick it under the tap and fill it up with nice, chunky tap water. You can use cold or hot, but hot water speeds up the process. If you're lucky, your tap water will come with all sorts of impurities to add to the flavor of the tea. My tapwater is loaded with such delights as chlorine, lithium, and, on good days, just a hint of illegal immigrant. When it's full, dump in the sugar and stir it away. Stick in your tea bags and screw the lid down so that the lid holds on to the tea bag strings. Take the jar into the glorious sunshine and let it sit for a few hours.

When your tea is a satisfactorily dark color, bring it inside and take out the tea bags. Pop it into the fridge for a good, long time. When it's nice and cold, pour a generous amount into a tall glass or jelly jar. Add ice to taste. Chug-a-lug.