Driving to work today, I noticed a flock of birds flying up and around the bridge. They seemed to come out of nowhere, and they were loud. They seemed to scream at the traffic and the sky, pissed off that we were rumbling below them and stinking up the air with our exhaust. They were magnificent - black silhouettes against the gray morning sky, drifting in and out of the fog.

Today I feel like one of those birds. I feel like I'm looking down at everyone, screaming at them all to shut up, go away, and leave me alone. I'm looking forward to going home.

I've readdicted myself to Roller Coaster Tycoon. I love that game. I have a craving to build that park, and I can't wait to go home to do that. How pathetic am I? I bought the expansion pack online today, so I should have that in a few days. More coasters and scenery and other assorted cool stuff to play with. I need a life.

The drive home is always nice. I drive over the Marquam Bridge, which gives you an amazing view of the downtown Portland area from the top deck. It is absolutely breathtaking sometimes. On a clear day, you can see Mt. St. Helens and Mt. Hood in the distance. I hate the traffic, but the drive itself isn't always bad. Right now the leaves are still orange, although some trees are bare. I like staring at the trees while I inch past them in traffic. They make me feel strangely peaceful inside.

He and I talked last night for a while, but I kept finding myself feeling sad. Even while we made love, I felt sad inside. I cried afterwards, and the only words I could say were "I love you" over and over again. My feelings were so weird and jumbled, and all I could feel was love for him and sadness. He cried too, and we fell asleep together, legs twisted together. We love each other so much, and I wish that we could spend more than just a few hours a week together. The time asleep in the same bed doesn't count. We don't interact when we sleep, unless spooning and twisted legs count.

I miss him.

Nodes That I Wrote Recently:
people will steal anything

CD’s I’ve Listened To Today:
Boogie Nights soundtrack
Revolution magazine compilation disk
DJ Icey - Essential Mix
Movingshadow 99.1 drum and bass compilation

Today’s Horoscope on my Calendar (Aries) - Roll up your sleeves and get down to business. Mars seeks a truce with Saturn and hard work brings home the bacon. A love interest can suddenly generate sparks as Venus mingles with Uranus. Novel approaches are advised.