OR: Taking a risk with a language position, adventures with Le Kama Soutra Illustre

The scene commences with our two lovers on the floor of their apartment, half-way through manouevering themselves into one of the more tricky positions in the Karma Sutra

He: And you've tried this before?

She:Not this one, but I tried another one.

He: So what next? I can hardly move as it is and quite frankly it's not that pleasurable so far

She:Right, bring your leg up and over mine. Like on the picture - Holds up miniature illustrated Kama Sutra

He: Right, the picture where the guy looks like he's floating in mid-air. Hmmph

She:It's just the style of the drawing, these are very ancient diagrams, you know

He: Yeah, Yeah. Ok - Starts to move leg

She:OUCH! Watch where you're putting your damn toe

He: Sorry, it was an accident. Heh, some people find that kind of thing a turn on you know

She:Maybe, but when was the last time you cut your damn toe-nails?

He: Alright, I know. I was going to do it earlier but I forgot. What next?

She:Ok. I think if you move your right leg just a little higher and angle your feet out the way. Then I can move my left leg. At least I think that's what it says.

He: I thought you understood what it said.

She:I do, kind of, it's just some of the French is a little bit complicated. I'm not quite sure what rotule is. Something about watching it, I think it says.

He: Heh, dunno about watching rotules but I've got a good view of your chatte from here.

She:Har de har har. Move your leg and less of the jokes.

He :Ok, ok. Ready?

Shuffle, shuffle, CRACK

He: ARGH! Your knee, your knee, move your damn knee


He: FUCK, not THAT way. JESUS, my fucking...oh christ....STOP.

She:You said move my knee.

He: Well stop. God, my fucking eyes are watering. Let me move.

She:OH, OH, wait wait. CRAMP CRAMP. My left leg.

He: JEEEeessesss. Argh. AAAAAHHHHHH.

She:Ouch ouch oh god ah ah, christ that's sore.

We leave now as our femme prances round the room trying to straighten out her leg and cursing vehemently as her lover lies fetal on the floor of the apartment, clutching his genitals