For the record, NORAD has been tracking Santa Claus' activities since 1955.

A Santa Hotline phone number advertised from a department store was accidently printed and the number turned out to be the Operations Hotline for NORAD (which has of course since been changed). Colonel Harry Shoup assisted his confused subordinate military officers who were assigned to answer the phone. Young children from the nearby city were calling the number asking to speak to Santa. Taking a call himself, Shoup explained to the child on the phone that he was "helping Santa" but that Santa was not presently available.

The rest, as they say, is declassified.

Ever since that fateful surprise attack, NORAD has handled the fallout with a smokescreen. This military installation, a powerful department of our federal government and where a lot of our tax money goes, releases annual reports and announcements to the press explaining they are tracking Santa Claus' movements during the Christmas season and know exactly where that ripe bastard is is and when. Just in case the elves start revolting, we can blow Santa out of the sky in a matter of seconds. Next time your kid asks if there is a Santa Claus, tell him not only IS there a Santa, but the boys down in NORAD have an ICBM aimed at his big red ass even as we speak. I'm sure little boys and girls the world over are snug in their beds and satisfied with such knowledge.