It's no good

I mean, I'm not giving up at all, but this is without goodness in any of it's shapes or forms, or is it? A friend stops
by, tells me to ignore the past, she tells me that she will always love me. It's not a lie, anymore than it's the
truth, she doesn't love me the way I need to be loved, no one does these days.

(it's a matter of convience you see)

It's not that fate is cruel or that I did anything wrong or even that god was blinking, I don't believe in that kind
of thing, there are no accedents. No accedents could happen in this world even as crazy and fucked up as it is.

I keep looking around my world for the answers. They are here, I know. Hell, I even know what they are, and quite
possibly who they are. I know that it's currently all about finding the adaquate distraction, and believe it or not
I think I've found it.

I'm not sure but I think it's going to be enough, there is comfort and magic to spare in the collective presence,
even seperate there is indeed more than enough to spare. I know things now, at this moment that I never actually
thought I would come to.

(Is this strength?)

I never know what to call these things, Im not so insightful or perhaps lucky would be the better word.
But I do know this, these waves that I feel, these slams of pride and strength were what was meant to come of this.
Amazing that even after all that has happened, I'm still being helped and I still owe a debt to the hangman himself.

The point being that in the years to come, when things get out of control (and Im sure they will again), I will
freeze, look at the situation and remember that I am stronger than I thought, that in the words from the wise
this too shall pass, and that time and love will repair all wounds.

(This is the one thing that we all must remember)