"So much death...." King Theodin

"For in all lands love is now mingled with grief" Galadriel

Why would I open a journal with such depressing comments? If you are in constant contact with me then you already know. For those of you who aren't here’s the skinny.

Late in the evening on March 9’Th a great loss occurred for the planet earth. There was a car accident on the corner of Grand River and Burkley road in a small town nobody knows about called Williamston. In one of the cars involved there was a man, Father to my Beautiful Fiancé'. He was driving to bowling, driving down a road he'd driven at least a thousand times, and so he probably thought nothing of the oncoming traffic until she veered over the center line.

The impact was so terrible that they had to pull this gentle, kind, and loving father out of the back of his car due to the extensive damage to the front end. The impact on his body so terrible that even while wearing a Seatbelts, holes were immediately ripped in his heart, and all of the wonders of modern medicine could do nothing but prolong this great mans tragic and terrible death.

There is hope however; this great man is survived by a beautiful family. He is survived by three beautiful daughters 23, 21 and a mere 15 years of age, and one amazingly strong son a mere 13 years of age), and of course his loving and devoted wife. Small and insignificant as it may seem in the grand scheme of the world, for these five people as well as me the last 24 hours has created an entirely new universe. One filled with doubt, pain, and uncertainty.

And what you ask awaits them in this new life, a world where their father doesn’t come to plays, games, or tell them that he loves them, ever again. All (possibly) so that a well know local addict could feed her pet habit. And what penalty, should she be the one at fault, Vehicular Manslaughter carries a possible charge of up to 20 years, I believe. Will these 20 years stop the nightmares of his Children? Will it silence their screams of pain to which I have borne witness? I think not... Will any penalty that could be visited on this individual by the state or herself surpass the wrath I feel towards her if my suspicions are proven true?

COLD MURDROUS FURY...... does not begin to describe my feeling.

To look into my future wife’s eyes and see her dying a little bit at a time because "The last thing she remembers about her father is blowing him off because they were having an argument". I cannot begin to imagine her pain, and I cannot begin to explain my own, knowing that it is but a shadow of hers. Double this pain the guilt she feels due to her last moments with her father and I should be helping to rise above this for the rest of her life.

One considers the aftermath....

If we're lucky their mother will get enough from the insurance companies, if not then the benefits they have always received from the United States govt. (father was a disabled veteran), will not only cease but they will be forced to pay this months amount back. She may receive a token monthly amount referred to as 'widow benefits' (in my understanding somewhere around 700 a month) to replace his 3000 dollar monthly disability check. If the latter occurs there will be little choice. The possibly futures I foresee include the lady and I having to do our best to help make sure the rest of the family gets raised in their fathers absence.

24 hours ago the universe made sense,,,,

Can anyone tell me what to do now?

(power offline)