"Just Friends Syndrome" is a condition typically experienced by male humans, but sometimes experienced by the female of the species. Symptoms include:

  • A large percentage of the patient's friends are of the opposite sex, or the patient has a large number of friends of the opposite sex.
  • Despite being surrounded and on good terms with many members of the opposite sex, the patient is seemingly unable to get involved with members of the opposite sex in a romantic context. Instead, said members of the opposite sex inevitably become friends in a non-romantic context.

    This disease is invariably terminal, resulting in the patient being excluded from human mating rituals, and thus failing sexual selection and failing to propogate his or her genes. For unknown reasons, it tends to appear most often in intelligent males with caring personalities.

    Science has yet to eludicate the mechanism behind this disease. However, several interesting theories have been proposed. Among them:

  • The Theory that Women Prefer Assholes
  • Friend pheremones