Title: George W. Bushisms
ISBN: 0-7432-2222-9
Edited By: Jacob Weisberg
A nifty thing about the book I forgot to mention:
PICTURES. Think www.bushorchimp.com. FUNNY ASS PICTURES. Hee hee hee.
A note about the word 'Bushism':
The term 'Bushism' was coined by
Jacob Weisberg in 1992 after George H.W. Bush made the following speech: "Remember
Lincoln, going to his knees in times of
trial and the
Civil War and all that stuff. You can't be. And we are
blessed. So don't feel sorry for -- don't cry for me,
Argentina. We've got problems out there and I am blessed by good health, strong health. Jeez, you get the
flu, and they make it into a
federal case. Anyway, that goes with the territory."
From the
introduction by Jacob Weisberg:
"Collecting these utterances by our now president over the past year and a bit, I've found myself returning time and time again to the same question: What exactly is wrong with this guy"
The most widely publicized clinical evaluation came from Gail Sheehy' Sheehy wrote a lengthy article in Vanity Fair proposing that George W. Bush suffers from undiagnosed dyslexia. Within a few hours of the piece's publication, the Republican nominee had responed, 'The woman who knew I had dyslexia ' I never interviewed her.'
When I first heard the news that George W. Bush was our president, I have to
admit I panicked. I'm sorry, but I would prefer the most powerful (::snicker::)
man in the world to have more neurons in his brain than he weighs, a requirement
that I suspected Bush failed to meet. Statements like "I don't know whether
I'm going to win or not. I think I am. I do know I'm ready for the
job. And if not, that's just the way it goes" did not help to calm
my worries.
However, Bush was right when he said 'They misunderestimated me.'
I have since learned to love Mr. Bush. I persevered1
and joined his campaign2. The way I figure, anyone
who can be 'a small business growth' just might handle something
as trivial as a Presidency with ease. I think I was right, too: the man has
become a true leadership3. No doubt
helpful is his ability to recognize the fallacy of humans.4
He maintains a positive attitude5
even when such crises as the fact that "It is clear our nation is reliant
upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from
overseas" are poised to cripple America.
The Man knows how to relax6
in that big mansion of his. 'No Worries,' he says, as he
takes pleasure in the knowledge that he has no responsibilities 7...
But don't worry: 'Governor Bush will not stand for the subsidation
of failure8.'
Mr. Bush may know what his faith is, or what his priorities is,
9but it would seem that he doesn't know what
he believes.10.
And heyhey! Whodathunkit. Curious George can do math, too!
Lots of people trust him11., and
they do it for a very obvious reason:12
he's always looking out for the common man13.
Our President knows why children must read14
' in fact, sometimes he does it himself!15.
He has the balls to question the educational system16,
but still realizes how bright his children is17.
His argument for educational accountability18
is nothing less than stunning. George Bush has met the standards for
public schools19, and it shows20. Not only
that, but the man has mad financial skillz too;21
maybe this22 is the reason why the
economy is doing so well.
His foreign policy23 never ceases
to amaze, in all of its forms. He knows it's us versus
them24 but isn't quite sure who 'them' is.
'Them' could be evildoing madmen who might cause menshul
losses!25
Not only does he handle international policy with grace and tact, but his
policy on interracial dating26 is a true
gem.
He also speaks out against racial profiling27.
His mind is obviously on the right track when he says 'I think we ought
to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun.' Bush also acts
decisively on such hot issues as quotas28 and
affirmative action29
Well, so it may appear that he is functionally illiterate. Obviously 'functionally'
does not include technological
matters30 (we have to be careful of people living in the
dark dungeons of the internet!)
George W. Bush understands the emotionality31
and logistics32 of the death penalty.
Must be from so many executions in Texas.
The man has time33 and time again
shown his innate grasp of politics and money34
'.and that's enough. I think you've realized something: This man is a reflection
of the American public. May God have mercy on all of our souls.
1 "This is Preservation Month. I appreciate
preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."
2 "If you're sick and tired of the politics
of cynicism and polls and priciples, come and join this campaign."
3 "I have a different vision of leadership. A
leadership is someone who brings people together."
4 "I am a person who recognizes the fallacy
of humans."
5 "I know the human being and fish can coexist
peacefully."
6"The administration I'll bring in is a group
of men and women who are focused on what's best for America, honest men and women,
decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as
a great privilege and will not stain the house."
7"I want each and every American to know for certain that I'm
responsible for the decisions I make, each and every one of you are as well."
8 "Governor Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure."
9 "Our priorities is our faith."
10 "I think if you know what to believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."
11 "There's a huge trust. I see it every day
when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.'"
12 "Well, I think if you're going to do something, and then don't do it, that's trustworthiness."
13 "The best way to relieve families from time
is to let them keep some of their own money."
14 "Reading is the basics for all learning."
15 "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
16 "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children
learning''
17 "Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analasys."
18 "How do you know if you don't have a system that simply suckles kids through'"
19 "As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards."
20 "I don't read what's handed to me.'
21 "Clearly it's a budget. It's got lots of
numbers in it."
22 "A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes
to coming out of an economic illness."
23"I hope to get a sense of, should I be fortunate
enough to be the president, how my administration will react to the Middle East."
24 "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous
world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was
clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who they are, but we know they're
there."
25 "It's still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential menshul losses."
26 "The Bob Jones policy on interracial dating, I mean I spoke out on interracial dating. I spoke out against that. I spoke out against the policy of interracial dating. I support interracial dating."
27 "I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort
against racial profiling, which is illiterate children."
28 "Quotas are bad for America. It's not the
way America is all about."
29 "If affirmative action means what I just
described, then I'm for it."
30 "Will the highways on the Internet become
more few'"
31 "This case has had full analyzation and has
been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases."
32 "The only thing that I can tell you is that
every case I have reviewed I have been comfortable with the innocence or guilt
of the person I've looked at. I do not believe we've put a guilty &emdash;
I mean innocent person to death in the state of Texas."
33 "It is not Reaganesque to support a policy that is Clinton in nature."
34 "It's your money. You paid for it."
Ok, a few more that I particularly like but didn't want to bother incorporating into my little story:
"The government is not the surplus's money, Vice President."
"If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow."
"We ought to make the pie higher."
"There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me."
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."
"The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law."
"I think we agree, the past is over."
"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have &emdash; he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
"Bush: I talked to my little brother Jeb –- I haven't
told this to many people. But he's the governor of –- I should't call him
my little brother my brother –- Jeb, the great governor of Texas.
Jim Lehrer: Florida.
Bush: Florida. The state of Florida."
"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California ."
"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."